Yin Yang
by rainbow'n'charcol
Summary: Higari Hanabi is someone extraordinary, she just didn't think so. Eventual Hitsugaya/OC. Please review. On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Bleach fic series that I started about 3 years ago lol but never wanted to post cuz my writing sucked so bad back then. Anyways i had to go hours rewriting this and then viola! I had to post this now before school starts next thursday D: hopefully i can get 2 more chapters up before then aside from thank you for reading and enjoy :D**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Bleach T_T but Hanabi and Tsukasa r mine! **

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><p><strong>New:<strong>

My face got warmer with each passing second. I then realized, "Morning. Ugh," I got my covers and shield my face from the sunlight. Like that would help now that I'm awake. Well, pondering gets me sleepy so I'll try that. Let's see, it's Monday. Monday…

"Crap! Freakin' school!" I pull the covers off and look at my alarm clock. Geez, 7:10. I took a quick shower as I brushed my teeth. I was the frantically ripping through my things looking for that damn uniform and finally, after 3 minutes, I found it under my bed. Luckily my cat didn't sleep on it. I dressed up and grab my school bag aiming to dash out my room but instead I stub my toe against my spiny chair. I yell and cuss at the chair.

"Is everything alright up there, Hanabi?" My jobless-at-the-moment mom, Tsukasa, called.

"Y-yeah, everything's… a-okay." I reassure her through gritted teeth. I make it out of my room, limping, and then finally making it down the stairs on both feet. I waltz into kitchen indulged in the smell of eggs and sit myself on one of the chairs at the table. My mom settles my breakfast on the table. Good, a normal one. I devour the sunny side up eggs and gulp down my orange juice. The facet's water starts running and my mom takes my plate and cup while I idly sit there lazily.

"Are you nervous?" She asks out of the blue.

"About what?"

"School," What?

"Yeah right," I glance at her; knowing her, she's nervous for me. Up until now, time had completely slipped out of my mind. "Hey, how long does it take to get to that school from here?" Without looking back, she answered, "40 minutes or so," I looked at the clock chilling on the wall and gasped.

"Arg, I gotta go!" I scrambled to the door on polished floor, nearly slipping. There at the front door were my brown shoes which I clumsily placed my feet into them and grabbed the white spotless shoes into my bag. Grabbing the door knob I was about to take my first step out until-.

"Wait! Your lunch!" I turn around and see a wrapped bento box flying towards me. My instincts kicked in and I catch the box without flinching, with ease in fact.

"Thanks! Bye!" Finally, I was out of my house and was racing towards my new school in whichever direction I was able to remember when I had last visited the God forsaken place. It took me a good while to notice that I had not seen one bus or a bus stop. This town barely has any means of transportation, huh? I turn a corner and breathe a sigh of relief as I saw a bus in all of its might and glory. However, the last passenger boarded and the doors quickly closed behind him. Panic set in and I quicken my jog into a dash for the bus as it pulled away from the curb. I banged on the windows as hard as I could in high hopes that someone would stop the driver while I yelled 'wait!' As if someone could hear me. But someone did notice my vicious banging and had stopped the driver. Thank you whoever you are! The doors hatched open and I stood in front of it with one foot inside and a hand on a door fearing it would close again.

"I'm sorry but *pant*does this go to Karakura 1st High*pant* school?" The bus driver scrunched his eyebrows, thinking it through.

"Well, two blocks away." My breathing returned to normal at last and I spoke, "Okay. Thanks." I stepped in with the doors closing behind and the bus resuming its route. I look at the fee and search the small pocket on my bag where I usually keep my change. As I paid for my ride, from the corner of my eye I could see the driver eyeing me from head to toe. I felt my eyebrow twitch and before I could plaster on a pissed off face, I turned away and sat on a single seat. I know why he was looking at me in a weird fashion…it's because I'm hot! Okay, okay I'm joking; it's because I'm too short for a high school kid. I should be used to receiving those looks but I'm not. They down right irk me. Shows how insensitive people are. But then again, they can't help their insensitivity since I don't say anything about it. Anyway, I opted to looking outside and gave out a sigh. I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes to clear my conscience before growing tired of my head bumping and slamming on the window. I asked the man across from me for the time. 7:57. I let out a frustrated sigh. I won't make it. I close my eyes again but the bus driver called out almost instantly.

"Hey kid! This is your stop!" Oh really? I jumped to my feet, said thanks to the driver and in response he said, "Your welcome. Just go to the right." I hopped off the bus and jogged a bit until I saw several teens wearing matching uniforms as me. Two blocks-exactly- I came face-to-face with an enormous building in which small amounts of teens piled in. I entered the double doors but stepped aside to retrieve the small sticky note which had my locker number. With the little paper I was able to find my locker and change my shoes then I took out my program from my meeting with the principle. Ugh, my first class is on the third floor. I sluggishly made my way up the stairs and kept on repeating my classroom number but was also getting easily sidetracked with the new episode of Kurokami…1-3, huh. From what little I know, this school has a bad reputation thanks to all the gang bangers. It's not that I'm scared but I gotta watch my back. Being the airhead that I was, I didn't notice the guy in front of me and, yes, I deserve it. My face slams on this guy's back, my instincts surprisingly fail me this time and I'm not able to stop myself from falling on the tiled floor. I wince at the pain in my ass and take ahold of my nose which was also suffering. Ugh, why me?

"Um, are you lost or something?" I open my eyes and see two pairs of eyes, brown and dark blue, staring right into my freakish black eyes. My face heats up slightly and I inch a bit back.

"Uh, no." Yeah, I know why he asked. I'm not pissed though, I'm flustered. Both guys eyed each other, obviously not convinced.

"Um, can I get up?"

"Sorry," they quickly said in unison just as quickly they got up from their crouches. I immediately follow and dust my skirt (while quickly rubbing my sore ass) and shirt and as I did that the brunette opens his mouth.

"I'm Asano Kegio,"

"Kojima Mizuiro," Mizuiro smiled with a light bow and Kegio flashed a white toothed grin. First impressions, huh? That won't work on me though. I smiled, however, and bowed.

"Hi, my name's Higari Hanabi. Nice to meet you." Then the clouds parted for the sun's light to shine through the window we were standing by. I don't know why until just now I notice a lean teenage guy leaning against the window with his back towards me. No, wait; I just don't know why I hadn't noticed the guy's blazing orange hair. It looks so beautiful. The light was in the perfect spot right now and so is he because the last time I had been laid in awe struck by beautiful hair such as this was-.

"Hey, Ichigo," Kegio nudged the dude in the ribs. Ichigo? "Say something." The guy named Ichigo sucked his teeth. He folded his arms, turned with eyes closed and spoke with the obvious fact he's annoyed, "Kurosaki Ichigo." He extends a hand towards me but it's right in front of my face. I awkwardly take ahold of his large hand with my smaller ones and give a firm shake. Oh, it's really tough skinned. He opens his eyes at the sudden position of our hands, the question 'what the hell' evident within his eyes. We lock eyes, my black and his brown tinted eyes, as I surpass the will to gasp. I try looking a little deeper because-.

My chest tightens in the most painful way possible. I grip onto Ichigo's hand for support and as I did so I felt him cringe.

"H-hey, you okay?" I can't breathe and sweat starts to run down my face. It hurts so much and though I'm enveloped in my own pain, I could hear the concern, twisted in his voice, for me, a complete stranger. I have to go! I let go of his hand and dash past the trio, but I was actually running away…away from this Ichigo guy. And I can hear him call after me although I was long gone from sight. I ignore the awkward stares from my peers since they're not important right now and what is important doesn't concern them. I don't know where I was going but I was glad I found a bathroom. I entered, ungracefully, lucky that no one was there to witness my moment of weakness. I wouldn't embarrass myself any further. I slam a stall door open and slam it close with my body then slide down to the floor where I bring my knees up and hug them close to my chest. Like that would ease the pain, let alone cease. I try to muffle the pain filled groans and pathetic whimpers. I really hate this feeling. Not the feeling of pain but of weakness. I hate feeling weak, I hate the way I sound and the damn walls aren't helping. I mean, I've gone through worse and this is just pathetic! But hurting my ego is one of my many concerns at the moment. Not only did I embarrass myself but I possibly ruined my chances with being friends with those guys and perhaps the vast majority of the school. And they were so nice to me! Why does this happen to me? I have such bad luck it kills me. I feel like a freak really. And it makes me kinda sad when I realize that all the things those kids said before about being a freak and all, are somewhat true. Tears threaten to spill but I quickly wipe them away.

"Sc-screw those kids! I'm here to start over, right?" No answer and, of course, I expected that but it felt good to get it out in the open like that. Okay, I admit that I'm sorta freakish but that's one of my many traits! I lift my head with a grin and use my fingers to count off all the good things about me. Let's see… I can name all of the bad guys in the _Batman_ comics, I can cook a mean curry and, oh, I can cheer myself or anybody else up just like right now…well that's what my dad told me. I always do that trick whenever I'm upset; that's what my dad taught me. I hug myself a little more tightly. I'm so grateful I had a dad like him.

A cold chill makes me shiver and I look to my right where the feeling first started. I let out a comedic yelp as I find an anorexic looking ghost with his mouth flat out open, drool starting to trickle, and eyes peered in lust. Realizing that he wanted a better look at my panties, I slam my fist on his nose. His head hits the stall's metal wall and he's shaking in pain as he holds his nose.

"What the hell are you doing in the girl's bathroom?" I boom.

"Oh, ya cab see meh?" He asks. Adding to my list of traits, yes, I can see, hear, and touch (punch) him thus meaning I have the weird ability to see ghost as clearly as people.

"Answer my question!"

"Ya loobed so sab so…" He released the hold on his nose and peered at my confused/pissed face. "So since you can touch me, let's have some fun!" I stopped him with my foot in his face making him cry in pain.

"Not gonna happen." The bell rang and, of course, that meant the impending doom awaited for all of us in this building.

"Get out if you know what's good for you," I threaten as I got up from my position to open the door and finally get to class.

"Hello Kitty?" My face flushed and I kicked the perv towards the toilet where, miraculously, his head got stuck in. I slap my face a little to help me out of my daze and exit out of the bathroom and into the hallway where at this point is empty except for the occasional cutter/hoodlum. It took me a while to find my classroom but was successful, however, my stomach feel into a pit when I saw my homeroom teacher tapping her foot impatiently just outside of the classroom door. When she caught sight of me, her face was then framed by a fake grin.

"So you're the new kid, huh? Well, let me tell you something, _newbie_," Why the emphasis on 'newbie'? She then put a rough hand atop my head (I think her nails were trying to dig into my brain!) and pulled me close to her now pissed off face, "so long as you're in my class I expect you to be on your best behavior. I already got enough idiots to deal with and I don't need another one. Do I make myself clear?" At this point, I'm quivering in fear under her power, almost to the point where I might crap my pants, but with a shaky voice I respond, "Y-y-yes…" She let goes of my head and her face relaxes, "So long as you get it." She puts a hand on the door but instead of opening it, she gives me one last look before hitting me on the head with her record book! Sh-she really did. What kind of teacher does that? With a finger, she points at my bewildered face.

"That's in case you do something stupid. By the way I'm Ms. Ochi." And she left it at that. The indistinctive chattering-including bickering- I heard before was abruptly silenced as Ms. Ochi entered the room and proclaims in a weird happy tone, "Sit your butts down kids!" A moment of silence passes before Ms. Ochi's voice chirps. "Good news, we got ourselves a new student! Come in will you?" on cue, I step inside and walk to the front of the classroom where Ms. Ochi hands me a piece of chalk to write my name on the board. When I had my back turned, 'quite', yet unsuccessful murmurs arose throughout the class.

"_Damn, she's so short…!"_ One idiot whispers to the other. Yeah, I know that, baka.

"_Is she really 16?"_ I'm no prodigy, I'm stuck here with you aren't I?

"_What a tiny ass."_ That's it! Who said that? Resisting the urge to whirl around and kill the jackass who just said that, I only look over my shoulder with a death glare. Luck for him, the chalk in my hand sacrificed itself for him. After writing my name, I put on a fake smile and turn to my classmates to say this lame intro; "It's a pleasure being here (not). My name's Higari Hanabi." I take a small bow.

"Well, we're running late so you'll just have to take a seat next to the orange haired punk." Everyone laughed and I would have, too, but I'm not because my eyes scan the room for said punk. He stares at me as I stare back and instantly the pain from before grips onto me. I break into a cold sweat and I swear I want to bail but my pride wouldn't let me so I swallow hard before walking to my desk. I avoid eye contact along the way, fearing that the pain would worsen. Ms. Ochi began her lesson while I took out a new notebook out and open to a new white page. I furiously scribble down her words, word by word, all the while trying to focus on something else other than the pain in my chest. During class, I would constantly bite down on either my tongue, inner cheek or pencil whenever I felt Ichigo's stares. I don't usually have the ability to tell when someone is staring and, honestly, I had never cared but it was just that his stares were burning me like paper, slowly and painfully. That's how it was for the remainder of the class. His eyes were always on me. In the hallways, in the following classes whether he was behind me or across the room and it's just my luck that he practically is in most of my classes. I'm only left to relax when I don't have a class with him however I end up thinking of his stares and I just get nauseous.

The bell rung again and I was glad to hear the damn thing because it meant lunch time. When Ichigo left the room, I let out an exaggerated sigh lift my head up from my desk. God, I'm so relived! I could eat my lunch in peace…all alone. I sigh sadly. I'm so lonely I don't even want to eat and that's only when I'm depressed, refuse to eat my mom's weird-ass cooking, or a combination of the two. Already having my bento bow out on my desk, I surpass yet again another sigh and rest my chin on top of it.

"Um, excuse me, Hanabi-chan," I jump a little at the voice and turn to find a classmate of mine. "I couldn't help but notice you look upset." She looked at me with pity but was positive about me being upset. Normally, I don't like pitted looks but I'm not ruining my chances instead I responded with a chuckle, "That obvious, huh?" She hesitantly gave me a smile and nods. I'm beginning to like this girl.

"Um, Hanabi-chan, I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me and some friends of mine."

"S-sure, uh…"

"Inoue Orihime," she chirped in the happiest way possible.

"Inoue-san," I breathe out the name although I would prefer 'Orihime' but I'm being formal.

"Well, let's go." And with that I was lead outside, by the wrist, to a small shaded patch of grass where some girls were chattering and eating. Only when Orihime and I come into hearing distance did all the girls cease their business to look up at me.

"Tatsuki-chan, is it okay if she joins us?"

"It's not really up to me but I'm okay with it," 'Tatsuki-chan', the black haired tomboy looking of the group, spoke nonchalantly then she looked over to the others who shrug or nod their approval. Orihime pulls me to sit next to her while she sits next to Tatsuki. I thought I should introduce myself so I open my mouth but a short haired brunette puts her hand up and said, "Don't. You're Higari Hanabi. I'm Natsui Mahana." I'm astonished that she remembered my name but stupefied that I just realized that they're _all _in my homeroom. I mentally kick myself. Mahana then used her hand to point out the girls and their names.

"Ogawa Michiru," She's a small, pink cheeked, shy looking brunette. Dammit, she's still slightly taller than me. She waved a little.

"Honosho Chizuru," Chizuru's a red head with glasses and OMG! I'm being visually raped! Tatsuki spoke up with her voice filled with caution, "Watch out, Higari. The first chance she gets, she'll rape you." I could tell. I shiver while Chizuru looks over at Tatsuki in disbelief. The two broke into a fit but no one made an attempt to stop them. Mahana continued, "Kunieda Ryo," Kunieda is really tall and her long ebony hair makes her face look longer, however, she looks pretty plain. She only glanced up from her book at me and said nothing.

"And Kuchiki Rukia," Rukia has short black hair, a thick piece of it going across her small face, and has violet eyes that look right into me. A numb feeling passes through me. The girls chat with me about whatever came to mind. It was nice of them to be so friendly. We had some good laughs about such and such and they were too good I barely touched my food. They're such a weird group of friends.

"Oh, hey, Higari, I noticed that Ichigo was staring at you non-stop. Did you notice?" Tatsuki asked and everyone's eyes are all on me. I look towards my left at nothing in particular and give a shaky smile.

"Y-yeah, I noticed,"

"Well, do you have any idea why he was staring?" I hear Mahana ask.

"Not really. I just met the guy in the hallway." Wait, I shouldn't have said that. Now they'll hound me with questions.

"And what happened?" Asked Chizuru. I was right.

"I just got a little sick and ran to the bathroom," I shrug. "I must have embarrassed myself." It stayed quite like that for a few seconds until there was a low chuckle. 'A Tatsuki chuckle' I thought to myself as I, along with everyone else, look over at her.

"That Ichigo scared you?"

"No."

"Oh, well, don't stress about it. Get to know him, okay? He's not such a bad guy," Tatsuki's face softens along with her voice despite her tomboy façade. "I should know. We've been friends since we were 4." Damn, 12 years. I stare at her in disbelief.

"Speak for yourself, Arisawa-san! You just can't understand how scary looking he is!" Michiru cried out. And then they all started to talk all at once about this and that. Yeah, this is one messed up group. I think I'm okay with it.

Someone had once said time flies when you're having fun. Well, today, during lunch, it was proven. Everyone was happy within each other's company but maybe I was the happiest; so happy and alive that I hardly touched my food. So when the bell rang I wanted to murder it…I'll save the killing for later. I had P.E with some of the girls which one of them happen to be Chizuru and recalling Tatsuki's warning I guarded my back at all times. Thank God, Ichigo didn't have my P.E class cuz at any given moment I could've had a heart attack! After P.E, guess who was there? Yup, of course, Ichigo. The pain immediately returned the second I entered in what seems like his atmosphere. I'm lucky that only an hour and 45 minutes were left until school finishes. In my seat, I would bite down on my tongue and give death glares at the clock, mentally damning it to hurry the hell up. But because I wasn't paying attention to the lesson, the teacher called me out and let me tell you that sucks cuz as the new kid that's the type of crap you should avoid. However, I only got a warning that sounded so much like a threat. A threat I tell you! What kind of sick school is this? The school day ended on a good note as Ichigo had abruptly rushed out the door a millisecond before the bell tolled. I let out a heavy sigh once the pain in my chest was gone. I gathered my things in my bag before getting up and stretching my arms out in front of me. Before leaving, I waved to the only friends I have in this class goodbye only to notice that Tatsuki and Rukia are gone, however, I resist the urge to ask. I want to let the Ichigo-free air fill my lungs. God, it feels so good without Ichigo around! Wow, that sounds harsh but who cares! I merrily make my way downstairs and out the doors to the early April air, enjoying this feeling like freedom. Nothing can kill my joy. Ah…I'm lonely. I sigh sadly and though I really want to lie on the ground, I begin walking without having the slightest idea as to where my house is.

"Hanabi-chan!" Amongst the sea of students a voice calls out and although I don't need to turn around to see who it is, I did so anyway. I grin happily at Orihime who made her way to me. She returns my grin with a smile.

"I thought you'd be lonely walking alone." She could read me like a book.

"You shouldn't worry about me. I'll be okay." She blinks.

"Really? Well, do you know your way home?" Sweat drop.

"Uh, no. Not really." She giggles this giggle that makes me feel like a two year and which also makes me blush in embarrassment.

"Maybe I could help. Just tell me your address." I look at her as I try to remember my address. I tell her my address and something sparks in her that makes her smile grow.

"I live near there."

"Really?" I said that too eagerly, and once I realize it, Orihime is softly laughing at me as I cover my mouth and blush…again.

"C'mon, let's go." And with that, she began walking, taking the lead, as I followed.

"Hey, Inoue-san-"I stopped myself. "Wait, can I call you 'Orihime?'"

"Sure, go ahead," she's so nice.

"I noticed Tatsuki and Rukia missing when I said bye. Uh, so, where'd they go?" Urges.

"Tatsuki-chan has karate practice after school. She's training really hard for this year's nationals."

"Oh, really? I heard last year's competition was tough so what place did she get last year?" In a nonchalant voice did the most frightening thing was said.

"Second." S-second place? Only second…then what kind of monster did she face! A tranny? Note to self: never pick a fight with Tatsuki, the second strongest girl in Japan. Putting that aside, I went on to ask about Rukia.

"Oh, Kuchiki-san left with Kurosaki-kun." Huh, call me rude but I didn't think Ichigo would be the type 'to steal a girl's heart' so that's kinda weird unless Rukia likes the always-pissed-off-at-something-or-not-at-all type. I blinked when I had a question that required answering. "Are they dating?"

"No! What-! Oh, uh," whoa, unexpected much. I wasn't expecting that kind of negative reaction…but that sort of reaction would mean…_blink! _So it's like that. I look over at a flabbergasted Orihime deviously.

"Orihime, don't tell me you like I-." she practically slaps her hand over my mouth.

"Okay you figured it out but _please_ keep this as a secret." She was at eye level with me, pink and wide eyed, pleading me in a low voice as if someone would over hear her secret. I nod my head. She releases me and sighs in relief before looking down at me with a shy smile. "Is it that obvious?" Oh, shit I'm an idiot.

"Um, well, I just put two and two together and it was a pretty far-fetched guess." Although I look at her apologetically she stares at me in horror.

"Two and two," she takes ahold her head and practically yells out to the sky, "I might as well tell the whole world then!"

"Uh, no, don't do that! Like I said it was a far-fetched guess, I happen to figure it out is all," I tippy toe (D:) and place my hands on hers in order to pry them off her head, "c'mon, I'll give you my word: I won't tell a soul shit." I smile broadly then sigh and apologize. We stand there for a while though since I figured she needed some time to calm down. However, it wasn't long that she commenced walking, facing downwards of course. I waited a while until I thought it was okay to bring up Ichigo.

"So, I suppose you and Ichigo are friends, right?" she nodded but looked at me. A good sign I guess.

"I've decided take Arisawa's advice into account so I was wondering you could, uh, give me a few pointers on Ichigo." Orihime taps her chin in thought for a bit before coming to a conclusion.

"Believe me or not he's more of a shadowed knight. He may not look like it but he's very protective of he's friends and family, he cares about them more than himself. He can be blunt and somewhat narrow-minded but," she smiles sweetly at the precious thought of her crush. "He has his heart in the right place." She stays silent for a bit, her mouth slightly agape and her soft brown eyes looking somewhere in the distance. She blinks as she realizes that she's not alone.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I got carried away."

"Nah, it's okay." I was mentally kicking and screaming at myself for being a complete idiot for even thinking there was ever something terribly wrong with Ichigo. I'll admit I'm convinced but i can't help but think just how much room is there in his heart. I wonder if there would be a place for me and call me insane but I felt an invisible connection the moment our hands touched…but I wonder if this is the right town for me at all. These sad thoughts linger in my head for a bit but the voice of Orihime pops every ugly thought and welcome me into her kinship that feels a lot like warmth. We talked for a bit and I swear I was liking this girl a lot (no homo). She and I have similar tastes in comedy but the laughter was short lived as I noticed the familiar white gate with the sole indented bar. Automatically, I pull to a stop. My new house looks nice but my old house looked far more beautiful, that old abandon house I had spent my childhood years contains unbearable memories I don't want to recall, however, I miss it with every fiber in my being, soul included.

"It looks nice," Orihime admires. I cock my head at her, "You think so?" she nods and I almost let my thoughts slip. Like I said I don't want to recall those memories.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Hanabi-chan." She starts to walk away. My arm outstretches towards her like a child wanting its mother and exactly like one I wanted to cry out to her (yes, I can be a pussy). Crap don't go. _Blink!_ goes the light bulb in my head.

"Hey Orihime," I wait for her to turn "you think we could walk to school tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'll come by at 7:25. Bye!" I wave goodbye to her and sigh in relief. I'm glad that today was as crappy as I once thought it might be. I walk to the white front door where I fish for my keys. Once I find them, I open the door where my cat and the silence welcome me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ahhh, I'm such a failure...T_T I AM SO SORRY. I didn't stick to my promise and that alone is shamful so yeah...anyways here's chapter 2, hope you enjoy and also thank you Shippo704 for favoriting this story it means a lot :')**

**Disclaimer:Bleach isn't mine :/ I only own two OCs**

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><p>I didn't think mom would look for a job so quickly. I mean we got the month's bills already taken care of and it's not like her parents can't help us if we need anything. Speaking of which, it was her parents who got us this house, they found, renovated, and paid for the damn thing because they're loaded. I know what you're thinking.<em> Why don't you move in with them? <em>Well, it's a pride thing and it's not a good thing to rely so much on your parents as an adult especially when you have a teenage daughter. Anyway, I really didn't expect the silence. We have a note pad on the fridge because mom thought it would be a good idea to write down memos and all that. Cheesy idea if you ask me but I went into the kitchen and sure enough mom's cursive writing was on the pad.

'Hanabi, dinner is in the fridge, the miso soup needs to be finished, your homework as well and you have to mop the hallways. Take care.'

Dammit mom. I ripped the note and tossed it in the trash. I walked over at the stove where a small pot had the miso soup. Lifting up the lid, I carefully examined what was left. 'Needs some spice,' I thought to myself as I licked the finger where I had poked into the soup. Ugh, I don't want to do work…but I have to…But you know there's a way to make this less painful. I have to play some music. I went to the big ass stereo (a present from my grandparents :D ) in the living room. I know what I want and that was Heavy Metal (Takin' a Ride) by Don Felder. Man, these old songs make my life a bit more bearable. With a grin I went on with my chores occasionally dancing and singing…yes I know! Weak but don't tell me you don't do that shit when no one's around!

My tasks were done within the duration of the Heavy Metal Soundtrack. I ate dinner, took a 40 minute shower (no details) and finished half of my homework. Half, shush, don't tell. The house is quiet, too quiet and empty for comfort but nevertheless I settled myself on the couch, turned on the TV and raised the volume high. Misaki, my cat, jumped on my lap and purred as usual. I watched an episode of Kurokami then flipped through the channels before growing tired and settled on some random channel. I'm bored.

The doorbell rang, Misaki's ears perked up, and I couldn't help but feel some sort of excitement. The bell rang impatiently twice and I scrambled to the door. Once again the bell rang and I swear that got on my nerves just a tad bit. Can't this guy wait?

"I'm coming!" I scurried to the door, a frown set on my face, my throat ready to yell at this prick. I jerked the door open and had my mouth open too but, instinctively, my lips shut tight when I saw him.

"Hanabi?" Ichigo was on my front step, less than a foot away from me like he had been this morning. My eyes were already widen at the sight of Ichigo but they seemed to go farther when the pain in my chest returned. I looked to the floor at my feet and tried to surpass the pain however it was fighting back and it was winning. I let out a squeak and began to stagger back when the pain twisted itself towards my stomach then legs. Ichigo took a step toward me but I stepped back.

"What's wrong?" He franticly asked as if I could answer. Then his hands grabbed onto my shoulders to hold me steady. That had done it. My lungs were drained and I tried getting air into them but to no avail. My heart jolted unsteadily with ferocity. And then, I felt myself fall into the black corners of my mind, the world slipping from me but I could still hear Ichigo's voice calling out my name. It echoed.

_I can see flowers resting on the ground with a stone looming over them._

My eyes slowly open and I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision. I was facing the TV and felt uncomfortably hot. Body heat… I turn my head upwards, eyes as wide as ever, expecting to see a white ceiling but instead I was looking up into brown eyes. I let out a gasp and rolled over to the floor as a failed attempt to get away. I groaned in pain. Bad luck.

"W-wat're you doin' 'ere?" I still had my face on the floor so my question was kinda muffled.

"Whatda ya mean what am I doing here? You fainted." I lifted my face to look at him with my lower lip pursed before sitting up.

"No, I mean why did you come here in the first place?" Ichigo looked to the right, towards the kitchen.

"My kid sister, Yuzu, saw you guys move in so," He sighed then gazed at me, "she demanded that I bring you guys the homemade cookies she baked. It's in the kitchen." I cocked an eyebrow.

"That's so '50s."

"Yeah," I giggle at his miserable face. He chuckles.

"I'm sorry, tell her I said thanks." I looked at Ichigo's face and, replacing his scowl, was a new and soft face. It gave me a warm feeling in my chest. My chest… it didn't hurt at all, even when I'm so close to Ichigo right now. What is going on with me?

I heard a noise come from the back of Ichigo's throat and I watch his face morph into shocked. He briskly walked to the small mahogany table kept in the hallway that leads to the backyard. Perfectly clean identical vases held bouquets of flowers and in between the vases stood a black glistering frame with a picture of my dad.

My body was able to move when Ichigo grabbed the frame.

"Don't touch it!" I hollered at him and snatched the picture frame away. I held it onto my chest as tightly as I could and shut my eyes when I felt tears welt in them.

"Is he your dad?" I nodded solemnly. I loved my dad. He was such a great person who kept all of his promises to the end and to the end he kept his promise to me. I looked at the photograph of my dad. In this photo he had his 5o'clock shadow completely gone, his brown eyes sparkled of excitement that matched perfectly with his wolfish grin the same one he claimed I have inherited. The black sky in the background was overwhelmed by his bright orange hair which would have looked far more beautiful if the sun had been out. He and Ichigo look so alike it scared me, the only difference, however, was my dad's longish hair and soft wrinkles around his eyes.

"You don't have to say anything," he reassured me as he placed a comforting hand on my quivering shoulder. I shook it off harshly and managed to speak in a hoarse and heavy voice, "No, I might as well get it off my chest. It kinda helps," I inhaled. "Um, h-he died when I was nine. The police suggested it was a random homicide, however, they couldn't prove someone else was there. I-I was there with him when he got killed but… when I was questioned about it I-I couldn't answer. I was the supposed 'sole witness' but I didn't see anything…! His katana was the murder weapon…and the only fingerprints found were his a-and…mine." My voice got caught in my throat but I swallowed hard to continue and sniffed down the upcoming snot. "Why? Why couldn't I do a single thing to help? I'm so useless and helpless that I…that I even bla-."

"Stop." Ichigo abruptly said in a fierce voice that was meant to cover up the grief in it only it slipped out with ease.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for anything that happened. You were only a kid, okay? And I know that you're going through a lot but blaming yourself just isn't going to help. It hurts enough that he's gone." His hands clenched so tightly the knuckles turned white.

"How-?"

"-do I know?" He let a out a bitter chuckle "My mom died when I was nine, too" My head quickly snapped up to see his and the hurt was evident. His eyes were set on the floor so when he looked at me I wanted to wail as pathetic as possible.

"She died trying to protect me when all along I wanted to protect her…Hanabi please don't ever blame yourself. You just can't keep hurting yourself anymore. All it would do is have others worry about you." He faced me and put his hands on my shoulders and said without sadness, "Can you promise me that?" I looked into his eyes as he looked into mine. Ichigo lost his mother. Over and over again I kept on repeating in my head. I found someone who also failed to do anything for that lost one, someone who shares that sadness like me. And now this person wants me to stop killing myself over this because he knows what it's like. Then it hit me. All this time Ichigo was looking out for me. I acted strange in front of him this morning and although I wanted it to seem like nothing was wrong he thought otherwise. He kept his eye on me since the beginning. I think-no. He wants to protect me, why I'm not sure but it could have something to do with that invisible connection. Maybe he, too, must have felt it.

"All right, I'll stop…thank you." He gave out soft sigh of relief as I placed the black frame back on its alter. One corner of his mouth twisted upwards into a crooked smile and I returned the smile with a soft one. We heard the door unlock and snapped our heads to the sound of it creaking open. I made my way to the short hallway that led to the front door, Ichigo following quietly behind.

"Hanabi, did you-?" By the time she was cut off, she caught sight of me and Ichigo. The black plastic bag in her hand dropped, unconsciously, making a hollow thud that resonated throughout the house. She didn't bare an expression on her face and kept still and quiet. Ichigo looked at her too but his brows were frowned a little in confusion and worry but there was something else that looked familiar, however, distant. In that face my mom made, her eyes began to brim with tears like swelling crystals and if I hadn't been looking hard at her face then I would have missed her lips parting slightly and move to wordlessly say the name 'Ryou.' Mom shook her head to bring forth her concentration. She quickly smiled.

"Hello." Ichigo seemed to be taken aback a little so the only smile he could muster up was a shaky one.

"Uh, hello. I'm Kurosaki Ichigo, a classmate of Hanabi's. Nice to meet you…uh,"

"Call me 'Oba-sama,' Ichigo-kun." For some reason, Ichigo looked so shaky and nervous like he was waiting to be caught or something. My mom, on the other hand, looked perfectly calm even after she got teary. Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck, "I should leave or else my old man will never let me hear the end of it. So," He turned to me, "I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later." He walked over to the door to where his shoes were. My mom picked up the once forgotten bag and moved out of the way to offer the door. They seemed to fidget a bit and, from all the way where I was standing, I could feel the nervous tension between them. Finally, Ichigo stepped out of the door and left.

My mom stared at the closed door for a while until she turned to me with a creepy smile.

"So how long have you been bringing boys home without me knowing?" I smiled nervously.

"Huh?" As quick as a whip, she was right beside me then the next second she had my head in a headlock with her knuckles rubbing hard on my scalp. I managed to escape and flee away from her but of course she started chasing me crying out the word 'punishment.' She tackled me then, putting all her weight on me as I tried to stop her but then when I couldn't hold her up, we fell to the floor, me being crushed underneath (not saying she's fat). We stayed on the floor like that for a while before she rolled over to get off, not particularly wanting to get up. She gazed over at me.

"He has the same face as your father," I looked away from her.

"Yeah, I was pretty shocked, too."

Though I knew my subconscious would not allow me to wake up, in that state I was able to feel every muscle in my body tense. I knew I was tossing and turning reputedly by some unknown reason but wanting to wake up wasn't helping; I was way too deep into my sleep. No, wait, it was more like I was forcefully absorbed into it like prey. Finally my eyes shot open, but I quickly panicked when I saw absolutely nothing. My heart raced. Am I blind? I swallowed hard and, reluctantly, brought my hand in front of my face. It was there as clear as day. I realized then, that I was in a dream and this dream was of nothingness. What was the point of dreaming when there was nothing at all? The blackness surrounded me and I couldn't adjust to it. My eyes would only reject the black. I looked to my feet and below them was the same thing in front of my face. While looking down, for the first time I saw a different color other then my skin color. Mid-way to my shins, hanged white, soft silk that I have only touched once in my life. I touched my abdomen where the silky obi tied loosely around my waist as I looked down at my body. I was wearing a white kimono, hanging onto my small frame perfectly. I clenched my hand over the fabric when I felt the cautioning nausea creep into my guts. This was far from normal, way too much to ever be considered normal. This isn't good at all, that was for sure. Not knowing what to do, I stood there for about a few minutes with questions going on in my head: when I will wake up I asked over and over to whatever greater force out there existed and at that moment a figure caught my eye. To my left there was a silhouette. My eyes widen and they began to sting as tears developed.

Despite the darkness, I could see something like an outline around the black kimono he was wearing. His skin and his blazing orange hair stood out strong against the dark and the colors never seemed to fade or wither despite all the years that had passed. His brown smiling eyes held onto my black ones. They were still strong and warm and mature like they had always been. For all throughout my life those eyes are still the most vivid detail of my late father. He smiled at me, like he always had, and held out his hand for me to take. I walked over to him like a mindless zombie and reached for his hand but, like smoke, like ash, his hand faded. I looked up to were his face should be and there was nothing like before. Nothing lay beyond. The tears fell down my face. My mouth opened and I yelled only to find out I had no voice. I began, in what I thought, was talking but nothing came out. I broke down into my hands and wailed and screamed until there was no oxygen left in me. I cried silently.

Two feet came into my blurry vision and my head snapped up to see a face. It was Ichigo. You'd think that seeing Ichigo would relieve me but instead a numb feeling passed through me. He was glaring at me but also in the depth of his eyes was something like shamefulness and pity. He was wearing the same black kimono like my dad. A white light flashed before us, a shadow passed on Ichigo's face and my stomach fell like thunder. His irises were a glowing, malicious yellow, the whites of his eyes were black, and, spread across his face, was the sadist smile of a killer. I finally blinked, after a long time and then he, too, was gone. I was shaking and crying so fiercely. I don't know what to do with myself. I wanted to wake up from here. I want to get out! I hugged myself tightly in an attempt to stop shaking and to warm up my chilled body. I slapped myself hoping that would wake me up but it was a failed attempt. I blinked tightly for the last time and when I felt an artificial Sun's warmth I opened my eyes to see a meadow stretch on and on around me. Trees over shadowed me, my feet were drenched in water for I was standing in a small pond, roughly about the size of two queen sized beds. This didn't calm me down. Not the slightest. It just made me question this dream even more. What was going on with me? Ever since I moved to Karakura, weird things have been happening to me. I just can't explain why. What does this all mean? Is it a sigh, an omen, a warning? No answer. Is something going to happen? No answer. Was it going to happen when I awake? No answer. Or…am I already dead? I dropped to my knees, drenching the white kimono. It's possible. All those times, when I would kneel in pain because of Ichigo could mean I was bond to have a heart attack so maybe I did have a heart attack. Maybe I really did die so that would explain why I could never wake up, no matter how hard I tried. Wow, so…I could be dead. The way the pond reflected the artificial sunlight was soon overshadowed by something behind me. Like I said, I never had that particular feeling of someone watching me but I knew it, somehow, right now. I shivered under the immense power the eyes behind me caused. Slowly, I looked over my shoulder. It was a tall man with a cloak, a hood draped over his face so his eyes and hair were covered and his mouth was in a tight line. I really didn't feel anything in particular about this man but all I could do was ask myself with desperation, _is he going to help me?_

The corners of his mouth tilted upwards into a mysterious smile. He held a hand out without a word. I stared at his large hand and then at his half covered face before looking at the extended hand one more time and grabbing a hold of it, hesitantly. He helped me to my feet, the water running down my quivering legs and dripping from the kimono. I studied this man so hard I could barely remember where I was. Then, in that instant, I felt an earthquake rumble within me and drop to my stomach as something took over. It exploded in my chest, through my heart and out my back. Though this feeling came quickly in me, I was able to process that this was like that pain in my chest only it hurt even more. I swallowed in air but found out I couldn't breath and just choked on the air and saliva. I looked, with wide eyes, down to my chest and piercing through it was a sword. To be certain it was a black-hilted katana. The blood trailed down the silky fabric and fell onto the pond in eerie, hushed drips. I looked back to the man, who had his other hand holding the weapon and a grin on his face. He slowly pulled the blade out of me, tasting my pain filled screams. I no longer had his hand and so I met with the cold water, the last memory I had was that of the man's horrible grin.

Finally, I sat up, with a racing heart and shortness of breath. I had woken up to reality and was on my bed like I had been before I feel asleep. My mind couldn't help but replay the nightmare countless times. I brought up my knees, put my head in between them and put pressure on the sides of it. I really want to get rid of the nightmare from my head but I also wanted to know the meaning of it. Sweat beads rolled down from my face and onto my knees covered in the bed sheets as I tried desperately to compose myself. While taking deep breathes, an overwhelming heaviness came onto me and then I felt the world shake. What was that? Unconsciously, I was on high alert and felt something coming after me. I gulped down my fears and worries, set aside the nightmare and jumped from my bed. Quickly racing down the stairs, I found the only weapon I was capable of handling in the closet and followed my gut out into the backyard. There was nothing in plain sight, no clues indicating an intruder or animal entering or of a possible natural cause. I skillfully held the sheathed blade (I wasn't going to reveal it and go to jail) in front of me and held a stern face. I stayed like that for a long time until I decided to relax since there was really nothing to worry about. I exhaled deeply, putting my guard down and started walking towards the end of the yard but I didn't even make it half way there when I felt a presence. But the only real reason I stopped was because of its dark essence and the way my heart picked its pace and the cold chill running down my spine. With caution, I looked a little over my shoulder. My pulse stopped when I saw a large shadow looming over me. I was debating whether or not to turn but then a great force struck me in the back causing me to fly across the yard, all the while before I could make my decision. I landed on my side hard enough to break my bones but for some reason that didn't happen. My dad's katana lay out across from me but too far for me to reach. Then, a horrible shriek filled the air and I looked up to see the source of the cry; a monster. The monster then stopped to look at me as I did the same. It had glowing yellow eyes, much like Ichigo's in my nightmare, and a skull like face. Its large set of teeth was slightly parted as saliva oozed out. It… it's hungry. It starved for me! One large foot stomped forward; I backed away, dragging myself knowing all too well it was pointless. Ever since I was little I was always able to see sprits, not one tried to kill me and I guess this one was the one. It must be because it looked like a demon. Its large hand lifted above its head, palm opened. I closed my eyes and braced myself. I was done for.

I held my breath for a long time, waiting for the kill only it never came. A screech arose into the night filled with pain and to me sounding like defeat. Without thinking, I opened my eyes to find that the monster was slowly fading into pieces, like ash, that lifted to the sky where they blended with the night. A dark figure caught my eye just then. A glint reflected from the moon shine onto the enormous blade.

"I-Ichigo," I whispered but he was able to hear it in the dead silence. He turned his face towards me and our eyes locked.

"Hanabi," Without another word, his message got to me, 'Sorry you had to see that.' A black movement then came to stand next to Ichigo. My eyes widened while Rukia kept hers the same, composed and collected. Her raven eyes looked at me like they did the first time she saw me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and frown my brows despite my heart hammering in my chest.

"What's goin' on?" I demanded in the hardest voice I could mange. I clutched the grass, waiting for their answer but all they did was exchange looks. Finally, Rukia signed in annoyance, "Hand me your deputy badge." She held her hand out towards Ichigo as he gave her a confused look.

"Um, why?"

"Just hand it over!" She barked. He quickly reached into his kimono and handed her a flat object, most likely the badge she wanted. She walked towards me.

"Rukia?" She was standing above me, looking down, and her hand lifted in the air with the badge in hand. Her hand came down hard on my forehead. The back of my head hit the ground hard but this didn't explain the loud thud that came after me. Grabbing the back of my head, I grumbled and cursed in pain as I slowly sat up. I looked up at Rukia who had mumbled something under her breath. I turned my eyes on Ichigo who had a shocked expression. When placed my hands on my lap I noticed that it was clothed in white thick fabric. I pulled at it and realize that my arms were also covered in white fabric, a layer of black underneath. The wind blew and I felt how heavy my head was. White strands of hair blew in front of my face.

"My hair…?" At this point I couldn't feel my face. I looked at Rukia, who had cleared her throat.

"From the moment you bumped into Ichigo your reitasu sky rocketed and I was able to sense that. You're a shinigami, Higari."


	3. Chapter 3

**Woot chapter 3!:D I finally did it at last...now if can just start on chapter 4 :P Anyways, thank you Neko249, pokecharmer007,Littlesister28516, and csibpip for at least acknowledging this fanfic's existence, it means so much to me :') Enjoy and also please review that would be nice too :)**

**Disclaimer:Sigh...I only have 2 OCs, Kubo-sama owns Bleach**

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><p>Untold:<p>

"Sh-shinigami…? That's what you said." I swallowed hard, my heart skipped beats and my temples began to pound. Death god. Rukia exhaled, "I understand it's a shock but you had to know now or never."

"Well, what if I didn't want to know?"

"Don't be foolish. You _have _to know because you need to learn how to control your powers. If you don't ever learn then you would be killed by another one of those _monsters_." My eyes widen in fear.

"Th-there's more!"

"Yes. That monster is known as a Hollow. They feed off of humans and spirits, especially ones with high reitasu like you and Ichigo." My head quickly turned to look at Ichigo who had shock written all over his face. I lifted myself up and had almost lost balance thanks to Rukia. I need to see myself, to reassure that I was still me so I looked over to the large window that overlooked out at the backyard. Sure enough, there was my reflection however I wish that I hadn't been so curious. I walked over to the window and the girl in glass did the same. She walked as hesitantly as I did. She looked so scared and worried like the world was falling apart. I felt the same inside. We reached the glass and lingered there until we both decided to lift our hand. I reached for the glass and pressed my fingers on hers, expecting the faint warmth of body heat. Instead I felt the cool smooth surface of the glass. Her brows frown and she spoke, "It's me…but there's no way... Why do I look like this?" I hadn't noticed Ichigo and Rukia come up from behind me so I jumped when I saw their dark figures reflected in the window.

"I'd like to know that, too." Rukia spoke. She looked into the dark red eyes in the window that supposedly belonged to me. I turned to look at her with narrowed eyes.

"You don't know what's going on, do you?" She gave me a look of remorse and sighed.

"Look, we'll explain as much as you want tomorrow. You need some rest." Ichigo put a hand on my shoulder and spoke quietly. I looked at him. "Everything will be okay." My mouth opened but closed in a spilt second. I bowed my head and barely spoke above a whisper.

"Yeah, okay." I walked over to my soul-less body, shrugging off Ichigo's callous hand. A shiver went down my spine as I approached my body. As I kneeled, I couldn't help but wonder to myself why my skin tone was still a soft peachy color? Shouldn't it be pale and icy cold? I reached out to put a hesitant hand on my cheek. It's cold. I moved my hand over to my chest and rested it there. Then I, as a soul, felt myself slowly and softly pulled into my body like an invitation. My eyes flashed open and I sat up hoping that this was still a dream which had stained my vision of reality. That was washed away without mercy as soon as I saw Ichigo and Rukia's dark forms walk over to me. I looked away and got up stiffly. I didn't look at them and I was hoping they wouldn't look at me but that creepy sense of feeling eyes on me informed me they were. I dragged myself to the door leading to my house and said, "I'll see you two in the morning. Night."

"Yeah, night." Ichigo said as I closed the door behind me.

Anything that was said to me had to be repeated twice the following morning. I wasn't paying any attention to anyone and anything. All that my mind was doing was replaying

everything since I had gone to sleep last night starting with that awful nightmare and ending with my parting with my two spiritually powered classmates. Honestly, what else should I have been thinking about? I find out I have this weird heart condition, then this place is crawling with some 'reitasu-hungry' monsters and now I'm all of a sudden a 'death god' along with two other classmates. I thought things like that only existed in mangas like _Death Note._ My mom and Orihime seemed to notice me spacing off so they did their part for me and kept their conversations short. Was I really that obvious? Maybe, since I was the one who only responded with 'uh huh's. Damn, I was so out of it I was almost run over by a car, thank whatever god up there for Orihime. I owe her now. We were a few paces from the school's entrance and there awaited Ichigo and Rukia. Orihime, delighted as ever, put on her big heart filled smile (something that had been kept away because of my emoness) and rushed over to the two to greet them with a proper morning's greeting (another thing that was completely ignored by me. God, I was being a bitch).

"Good morning, Kurosaki-kun, Kuchiki-san."

"Morning." The two said with a smile. Rukia's smile, though, was the first fade.

"You felt it last night, right?" A question without a clear noun seemed to mean so much that Orihime's smile faded and her voice became stern.

"Yes. Please explain Hanabi-chan's extreme increase of reitasu?" 'Reitasu?' Rukia mentioned that word yesterday.

"Orihime, you know what reitasu is?" I blurted out. She nodded.

"Yes. In fact I know what you, Kurosaki-kun, and Kuchiki-san are. So there's no hiding anything from me." I wanted to cry in happiness and hug her and scream thank you but instead I held myself together and looked away from her sweet smile that had made me blush at this point.

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea why this is happening to Higari or why she possess shinigami powers in the first place." Rukia spoke with casualty and thin arms across her chest. Ichigo spoke up next as if on cue of a script, "So we want you to come with us somewhere after school." I cocked a brow.

"Where?"

"To the one man who we can think of right now. His name is Urahara-san." I huffed.

"That's not convincing." Ichigo's face twisted a little in irritation and I mentally cursed at myself for being bitchy again.

"Sorry. Um, uh, I'll go okay?" His face relaxed and he sighed.

"Right, so we'll meet at the front gates." And so we left it like that. Ichigo guided us towards our homeroom and before I stepped into the room, he grabbed me by the shoulder leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"See the big guy?" He pointed at the ridiculously huge, tan and muscular guy.

"His name's Chad and he knows about us." 'Chad?' That's a peculiar name which actually suits this guy's peculiar appearance. There was something about this guy that made me want to keep a safe distance and it's not because he's so damn huge and that intimidates me but…I don't know, it feels like I'm a 5 year old in a zoo for the first time and let me tell you I did get scared whenever the animals with large canines would get way too close. Aside from that, I notice how quiet and passive this guy must be since he doesn't look tempted to shut Kegio up which at this point needed a good smack.

"You shouldn't stare; that's just creepy," Ichigo noted.

"I'm not staring, I'm observing." I protested. Why does that sound…wrong?

"Aha, sure," he continued, "Kegio, Mizuro, Tasuki and Honosho know about us, too" Ah, so Kegio's not a complete spaz. Ichigo then pointed at a nerd reading a book. I tilted my head a little. Well, the average nerd had the tendency to rid people away from him due to a) his major B.O, b) his red dotted face, and c) his awful yellow teeth, however, this guy was the complete, and I stress it, opposite of the words we know as nerds and geeks, although as a nerd he was alone. He had the essence of aloofness but that only contributes to my fantasy; you know in the right light, any girl (me) would notice how flawless his skin is and how pure his blue eyes are. He looked decent even with a stern face. Cute, almost. And- what the hell am I talking about? Am I hitting on this guy! And a nerd at that? And, and I just wasted a whole paragraph on a nerd! At this point, I was shaking my head rapidly to get rid of the thoughts and by randomly acting weird Ichigo slapped me upside the head. I looked at him in disbelief, mouth wide open.

"Listen up, idiot. That guy's name is Ishida Uryu, who," Ichigo paused to take in a big gulp of air, "is obnoxious and dumb and has a down right rotten attitude!" He smirked at his wise-assed comment. Ishida flipped a page from his book.

"Hmm, says you, the five year old yelling across the room, mediocre."

"Mediocre?" Ichigo spat the word out. Instantly, I felt the 'ready to fight' atmosphere grow between the two. Before I got involved, I backed away cautiously and sat in my sit.

The day went by smoothly as stated by Rukia (if you don't count the endless schoolwork). She said we were lucky that no Hollows have showed up to eat me and even if there was a Hollow in town then some other shinigami would have taken care of it ('that is, if he could' she said with a roll of her eyes). In the classes that Ichigo sat next to me, he shared stories about his adventures and, whoa, was I into them. In his stories he only had briefly explained what a certain term meant. In the classes that no one had sat next to me, Rukia got the brilliant plan to text me (you know, I don't recall giving her my number ._.). The texts were whole paragraphs. Well, duh, they had to be since she knew more than Ichigo and had originally lived in the Soul Society. 'Soul Society,' I mused on the name. It was where the souls of the dearly departed would go but this was not Heaven, Heaven existed somewhere else. No, the Soul Society was another place to survive the best way you can, just like this world, 'The World of the Living.' And then there was another place that was not Hell, instead it was called 'Hueco Mondo', the land of the Hollows; Spanish for 'Hollow World' (I asked Chad). It's were all the lost souls would go when they lose their hearts. They become lonely and lost so they feast on souls, humans and even other Hollows. It's sad and I got sick to my stomach when I realized a shinigami's purpose was to hunt them. Then, that Hollow Ichigo killed when he saved me was a person. What if my dad had become one? I would…kill myself if I had known that had happened and I could imagine that one Hollow's family he left behind…

"Don't worry. That's not why we exist." Rukia said after some class I wasn't paying attention to. She saw my face twisted in discomfort and grief.

"Then why do we exist?"

"To hunt for Hollows is not to merely kill them but to free them from their sins. Our zanpaku-tos are not just blades but also a cleansing tool. It sends all of the Hollows to the Soul Society as a way of showing forgiveness and lets them start again. That is what being a shinigami is, we are the ones who balance all life and death." She ended with a small, unexpected smile. You have no idea how much that relived me. In the following period I had sat next to Ishida. He was so into his work that I didn't feel like interrupting him so I sat there jotting down notes while all the while I felt nervous for being awkward with him only. At some point we worked independently and I suppose Ishida had taken the opportunity to talk with me.

"You have an unusual name." That's not how a normal person starts a conversation.

"Uh, thank you…?" I don't know what to say. I should've yelled at him for insulting me but I didn't want to take my chances. We made small talk after that and he had explained why he had known about shinigamis. He was part of a 'special' human race known as Quincys. The conversation was small and brief with a lot of pauses and hesitations. At least I got to know him some more. He and his father were the last of their race and there won't be anymore until a girl ends up carrying the offspring of the Quincys.

I had been told that Orihime and Chad were known to be gifted humans. They should be oozing reitasu but I just couldn't sense it. In Biology I tried to concentrate on finding them but instead I got a headache. I then realized that this was the only class I had no friends in. I found myself hating biology, my favorite subject, and had wished that Keigo had been there at the very least. When school ended, I lost sight of Orihime, Ichigo, and Rukia and was carried by the flow of students flooding out. I was surprised to see all three of them already at the gates. Curse my damn height. We only greeted each other without another word being said afterwards as Rukia took the lead. It was an awkward and a far too quiet walk. To me it was even long. Just then a soul happened to be walking by. He and I locked eyes but the others didn't pay any mind to him. A sad frown took over his face and I couldn't help myself but mutter apologizes. It was always like this, they were always seeking comfort for their sadness. For some apparent reason I was this comfort they longed for since their deaths. Then, at the innocent age of 6, I cracked. I told my parents that I couldn't take the pressure the spirits bestowed upon me; all of their fears, worries, and despairs were all too much for me. Why should I be going through this? Why did they come to me? Why am I this so called flicker of warmth? Why should I have to crack under pressure? It wasn't any of my business. For God's sake, I was only a child of 6! I remember the Sun was setting, causing my parents bright colored hair to glow, the ghost at my side was twiddling with his thumbs, nervously, and I came out with it. I explained the choking feeling of consumption in agony, the way they were drawn to me like I was a drug they needed, I even pointed out the ghost that was there at that very moment. But they exchanged glances, gave me small grins of confusion, and said it was all in my head. My imagination was running wild and that was what happened to normal girls but did normal girls and boys tell their parents the words death and despair with a clear understanding of the words? To other kids those words did not exist in their imaginations. Out of frustration, I screamed at the top of my lungs, the colorful language I had learned at some point came out in shrieks. My mom scolded me and had even yelled back. I didn't want to hear anything from her if she wouldn't hear from me so I had stomped out of the living room, entered my room with the door slammed shut, and cried and screamed into my pillow. The spirit with me at the time had tried to sooth and eases my wailing but I lashed out at him. The next morning, not too far from my old house, was a tiny puddle of blood that had sent a chill through me. It stank of pure terror and was unnoticed by everyone but me. I was able to see it. The ghost was gone that morning, too.

I stopped walking and I didn't know it until I became aware of the hard packed ground below my feet. I saw that my small group had also stopped and all eyes were locked on the tiny, dinky building in front of us. I looked up to the sign with a dark green background and white kanji characters. Urahara Shoten. The building looked out of place but I wasn't surprised. We proceeded onto the sliding doors that Rukia ungracefully opened. I took a look around to see a bunch of small house hold items, medicine, and snacks all at a cheap price.

"Urahara, get out here!" Rukia called out. I found myself holding my breath as I heard some shuffling and clattering in the back room. Pushing the drabby curtains aside, came out a man. He wore a black haori and a green outfit under. Atop his messy bleach blond hair was a green and white stripped hat and on his face he had plastered a big cheesy smile.

"Well if it isn't our regular!" he announced in a cheerful voice. "How's it going? Are you here for a check up on that gigai or are you introducing me to our new neighbor?" I, unconsciously, gulped down the lump in my throat.

"How do you know about me?" I asked with a stern face. He sat cross legged before us and whipped out a fan.

"Please, I've known of your existence since you were born." Okay, just a little bit creepy. He continued to babble.

"And with that unusual spike of reitasu, who won't notice you?" He laughed before Rukia called out his name to shut him up.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He sighed. "This was bound to happen." The words were spoken like nothing, like they were the normalcy that happens in everyday life. But that was not the way I heard it. To me, those words changed and grew something within me as well as silence the noises that emitted from outside. I clenched my jaw and noticeably frown my brows as the man sighed before continuing, "I knew you're father way before I became a captain. Ryou-san was a symbolic figure in, not only in the Seireitei, but the Soul Society as a whole." I stared at this man in disbelief. My dad was a shinigami…and I only know of this now, years after his death. The man tipped his hat.

"Let me tell you of what I know. You see, Ryou-san was from Rukon district XXX. It was a poor society filled with famine and murder. But it seemed to everyone at our time that it had never bothered Ryou-san as it never did stop him from becoming the vice-captain of squad 6." I stole a glance at Rukia at the mention of squad 6. I was bewildered to see her face supporting a look of confusion. I knew her adoptive brother was the currant captain of squad 6 as well as the head of the noble Kuchiki Clan so being who she is; I expected her stern face to sill be intact.

"The look on your face tells me you never knew of this. Of course you wouldn't have known! This happened 200 years ago," he gave out a hearty laugh for a while before clearing his throat. "200 years ago, on the 9th of April, however, is not listed in the text books of the academy or at any library so there was no other way you would have ever known of him, Kuchiki-san for you see every record of Higari Ryou was long forgotten." I gulped.

"How come?" My voice came out low but still auditable for everyone to hear.

"Again, I repeat, I can only tell you of what I know: He disappeared. Some would have guessed it was stress or he was just sick of the injustice by the Seireitei. No one will know though. I never got the chance to ask him once I had found him in Osaka after I was exiled from the Soul Society. To Central 46 (makes laws), this was an unfound crime. It was a sin to their eyes, to just leave without reason, to just leave everything like it was nothing." There was a strange aura that came onto the small store as a silent moment was passed between us all. Something burst in my chest then that made my head swim in thoughts colored in red. I clenched my jaw and made a almost growl in the back of my throat that had accidentally escaped from me.

"Whoa, no need to get so aggressive!" Urahara held up his hands like he was trying to calm me down. He sighed with a grin and another tip of his hat. "Kuchiki-san, would you mind showing me Higari-san's shinigami form."

"Huh?" Then it hit me. Literally. Rukia pushed my soul out but, this time, with her hand. Dramatically, I rolled over on my belly and when I got up I wobbled a bit, still unsteady due to the long hair and unexpected call. I gave Rukia a death glare which she ignored. I then turned my gaze at Urahara who at this point wore a face of astonishment but was then replaced by yet another grin.

"Well, well, well isn't this interesting!" Something caught his eye then that made him go, "Oh!" I couldn't tell at what he was looking at, though; his hair was in the way of his gaze.

"Hand me that zanpakto," He held out a hand but I gave him a questioning look at the mention of zanpakto. He sighed and said "The one strapped to your waist." Averting my eyes to my waist lo and behold there was a sword. Why wasn't it there last night? I slipped it out of my obi, scabbard and all, to hand it in for inspection. I eyed the mysterious sword from the tip of the sheathed blade to its hilt but I drew it close to my face when I noticed the markings carved on it. I can imagine my face; eyes wide, brows frown upwards.

"This is my dad's," I breathed.

"Let me see," Urahara's voice broke me out of my trance that reminded me that I was not the only person in the world. Upon handing the sword, he scans the hilt's markings. My mind blurs into a memory from my childhood when I had asked my dad about the markings of his katana. The old worn out sword was a hand down, passed down to the men of his family. It's an obvious lie.

"Yeah, it's his, alright." Oh, so it is. A smile came upon the man's face and I could fell my heart softening at his face. "Kuroitsuki," he breathes out the name, as if he has finally been able to say it. The name of the sword was strange but I could feel some sort of nostalgic feelings toward it. I dunno, maybe it's cuz I know that it was my dad's and it held a special importance to him and me since I now own it. Or maybe it's because it's the only other thing close to my father…

Urahara set the katana down in front of him, eyes hidden behind the bangs of messy hair. A sigh proceeded before he spoke, "I'm sorry but I don't have much to say right now." And just like that, he got up, smoothly turned on his heel to the worn out, drabby curtains that lead to another room.

"Wait, that's it?" I exclaimed. Urahara turned to look over his shoulder at me, one hand lifting a thin curtain.

"Yeah, sorry," he hesitated as he noticeably tilted his head downwards before looking back up. "Be careful." Then he disappeared. That's it. That was all it took to get me upset. My head still couldn't grasp all the information and my heart wouldn't accept it. God, it was hurting my head. I sucked my teeth then sharply turned to where my body was tossed aside. I had rejoined with my body but ah shit, the zanpakuto. I looked over to where Urahara had left it. Surprisingly enough, it was still there, still a solid. I pulled it roughly and heard a small gasp behind me. I looked over my shoulder just as Rukia turned to the shop's doors where she open and close them gently. I ignored her, well no, I ignored everyone as a matter of fact. I didn't care if Ichigo or Orihime were there at the moment; I was too damn pissed and moody. Right now what mattered to me was finding some huge bag or packing paper for my katana.

I finally found a box of trash bags which I opened to steal a bag and purposely left the box with its continents scattered on the floor. I dragged myself to the entrance where Ichigo and Orihime had been waiting for me, my guess, a long time. I wanted to say something like an apology and thank you but I didn't. Instead I brushed them off, opened the door and exited. They, too, followed. Looking over at Rukia, who had been leaning beside the door, she didn't say a word or batter an eye at us but walked ahead of me. Lost in thought. I rubbed my eyes in frustration. Damn, I was unusually being a bitch today and I swear, I'm telling you the truth, I'm not on my period…but it sure as hell seems like it. But I don't even act like this when I'm on my period! I stopped walking, Ichigo and Orihime did, too, Rukia hadn't until after she looked over her shoulder. I turned to the two and said, "Thanks…for sticking with me so far." Orihime, in all her beauty, smiled maternally. Ichigo crookedly grinned.

"Did you expect me to leave you just like that?" I grinned.

"Nah, I know you like me,"

"You wish." He scoffed and ruffled my hair. I playfully pushed his hand aside.

"Oh, so I'm not your type? That's cool; you like chicks with boobs, right?" I smiled at him mischievously as I pretended to cup the boobs I can and will never have. Ichigo blushed furiously; either because what I said was true or it just made him angry. I don't know; could be both. So…as I was 'loling' at his face, he slammed his bag upside my head…(!)

"What the hell man! That hurt!"

"No shit," he mumbled, walking ahead, face still red. That ass…if he likes playing dirty, I'll play dirty. Ignoring Orihime's comforting hand I nimbly scurried behind Ichigo and kicked the back of his knee causing him to stumble. He didn't fall though (dammit), he caught himself just in time and once composed, he glared at me. I snickered and provoked him with my hand to come forth which he did.

Eventually, we all went our separate ways, the last to say goodbye was me. Depression set in once Ichigo and Rukia turned their backs, the words of Urahara replayed themselves over and over like wasp stings and coming home to a silent house that is way too big didn't help; it only made those words resound louder. Being the bitch I was today, I walked passed my patient cat towards the kitchen, katana still secured around my arm. I went to one of the cabinets for a candle and matches and with both in hand, I headed to my dad's small alter. I placed the small candle in front of the left flower vase, lit it and kneeled down for a prayer. Damn, I don't have the will to do anything. I sat there with Misaki on my lap and all my concentration focused on the tiny flame flickering every once and a while. I brought the katana to my attention, unraveled it and stared at it for a brief second before heaving a sigh and fell on my back with the sword clutched to my chest. What's happening? I don't know. Why is this happening? I don't know. I wonder if dad ever told the truth. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore and all that's going on is far beyond my comprehension and I can't cope with it. It's too much pressure and said pressure is building up on my eyes. I can't stand the heaviness so I close my eyes with a yawn. Surprisingly, everything was black behind my eyelids.

I blink wryly at the ivory moon. It looks so pretty contrasting with the starless sky. I sat up straight and felt my shinigami form's white hair whip around as a crisp wind blew. I'm dreaming again. The endless green field made it pretty obvious. I carefully stood up and studied my body. I was wearing a white knee-long dress…what's up with the outfits? Although, I don't really mind since I do look good in it. As conceded as I was, I hadn't been paying much attention to my surroundings that is until the wind blew. Geez, this dream is pretty realistic, it's too damn cold. I hugged myself and stared ahead. And then, the cold didn't matter anymore.

She's beautiful.

She looked so delicate but strong willed in her own way. Maybe it's the wind. Her skin was a pale peach tone that almost looked as white as her hair which reached all the way down her knees. On the crown of her head rested a gold halo with small gold chains dangling on either side of her temples. We wore similar dresses and had similar eyes but I was sure as hell that we did not have the same lips.

Her lips were plump and radiant as she smiled at me. I felt myself turn pink and felt blessed by her sheer beauty. Then her lips parted and moved but nothing could be heard.

"What?" I called out yet she did no effort to open her mouth a little wider.

"Who are you? What are you saying?" she paused and her brows frown. She moved her lips in alarm. 'Hanabi?' her lips said. 'Hanabi!' her lips said again. Over and over my name passed unheard.

Then I blinked, she was gone and I was staring into the blue pools of my mom.

"Thank God you came to," she sighed with relief. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I still clutched the katana.

"Mom you're back early," she blinked and frowned her brows.

"That's all? I was worried when you didn't pick up the phone. I had to rush over here!" tears welled up in her eyes and I sighed at the sight of them. I patted her hands and held them in my smaller ones. She's so sensitive.

"Mom, I'm sixteen. I can take care of myself." She looked at our hands.

"I know but you're my little girl and you always will be." I looked at her face but she kept her gazed lowered. I didn't do anything else but let her hands go. I got up, katana in hand, and announced my plans, "I'm going to the cemetery after school tomorrow." By the time I was upstairs, she had gotten off the floor to prepare dinner. We're odd, aren't we?


	4. Chapter 4

Well it's been since October so kill me before I do.I AM SO SORRY A I'm a lazy bastard so yeah it's cool to kill me. Sigh,anyways I've noticed that the length of my chapters slowly decline so with this one I kinda just babbled a little at the end but I like this chap cuz music played a pretty big role in it. I've included some songs in the chap in one way or another, some obvious than others. Also the rating for this chap has to go up cuz of the cursing. Well that's it so enjoy this chapter and reviews are greatly appreciated so please leave some.

Warning:rated M

Disclaimer:Bleach belongs to Kubo;Ryuk belongs to Obha and Obata;all songs included in any way belong to their respective artists(Linkin Park,Jet,Dinosaur Jr.,Red Hot Chili Peppers,Jimmy Eat World and Pixies)

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><p><strong>Gray:<strong>

The curtains weren't drawn this time; I didn't think they would be but I didn't mind. It's not like the sun was out to bother me anyways. Surprisingly enough today was one of those rare days I would awaken on my own free will without an alarm, without the sun and without my mother's happy atmosphere. My room is gray, the floor is cold, and when I pull back the curtains what is I see is my inner world's reflection; it's gray too. Today won't be pretty, that I'm sure about. I take an agonizingly slow shower seeing as I have a lot of time before Orihime can get here. I mindlessly dress in my equally gray and plain uniform and, still mindless as ever, walk out of my room. But just before I take a step down the staircase, I pause. I glance over to the last door on the opposite side of the small hallway. I can see it now; balls of tissue discarded without care litter the once spotless floor, curtains still drooping on the windowsill, the room coated in cool grayness. And in the bed far too big for one person in a heap of sheets and quilts would be my mom who would be heavily breathing through her mouth with eyes slightly tinted red as stress seeped out from her pores. I can see that, all of it, yet I let her be.

I'm not hungry like usual, I know I will be later with a stomach like mine but you know for today I really don't want to eat. It's one of the last things I want to do really along with facing reality. Reality…harsh and yet unavoidable. There's no escape other than dreams but even in there it's bounded by some greater force that goes out of control; there's no limit to what could happen; no way to stop the power from overflowing…that's the kind of world I want to live. I would be so happy if I could dream forever and I would be the greatest force of power, bending and twisting everything to my will however I wanted it to happen, it will be just that and I won't, can't, be stopped by anything, by no one. If I wanted to I would fly without wings, night would be day, power would take the form of the weak and I would be all. Like God…as if. We're given dreams to have that one tiny piece of power, our fantasy, just a little is all we get and it's not even real but that's '_okay,_' it's totally _'fine'; _it's just a tease, it's just a minor thing and I'm a minor king.

The doorbell rings twice, each ring over lapping, I sluggishly get up from my seat in the kitchen to go to the door where another ring emits, where my shoes, bag, and school jacket are. I stay still after having placed both my shoes on, breathe the grayness, and lightly slap my face before opening the door. On the other side of the door, outside in the crispy weather-a shadow of the day before-, is Orihime still happy, still herself and I, like a chameleon, copy her. So, we venture off to school where it's all still the same; everyone stuck in their little bubbles as am I where I've kept my pain from showing, last thing I want is empathy, and I hope this smile, this mask, can cover it up at least. The hard thing right now is being too self-conscious and paranoid about giving me away and being obvious to everyone but worrying about these things amounts to the pressure, which I also can't let it show. 'I can't let it bother me.' And, oddly but successfully, no one noticed me playing a ghost of myself from yesterday or the day before, that's good I guess. I suppose. I zoned out more than usual and I didn't even bother copying my notes but I did keep my pencil busy. I would write everything on my mind, my pencil translating it onto the paper. First, shinigami, next to it a doodle of Ryuk, below apples and the English translation of shinigami: Death God with 'death' being represented by a skull in the hands of the devil and 'god' being 7. Below the devil, the number 6…then I wrote the lyrics to Money Gone to Heaven by Pixies in what remained of the page save for the margins. The margins were scribbled with a time line starting with the date of my dad's birth except for the year seeing how that's a misleading lie; after that I skipped a whole blank space of the line and plotted the day he met my mom following my birth and everything after that where it ended with his death. I starred at the line until the end of that class only to rewrite it again and again in the rest of my clean pages. Force of habit maybe? I dunno. At lunch I was awfully talkative and preppy that it was sickening, however, the girls didn't mind or maybe they didn't noticed at all. Oh well…during lunch I also told Orihime and Rukia I wouldn't be walking home with them today.

"Is it important?" Orihime asked.

"Um, I guess. Mom wants me to do some errands with her," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh, that's nice." And that's how it went pretty much; nothing new, nothing off except for the occasional Hollow that popped out. But yeah everything was okay for everyone else. So the day ended and I said goodbye as I turned to the opposite direction of home. I let my face drop when I turned. Sometime later, I stumbled to a flower shop out of pure luck and bought a bouquet of chrysanthemums. The last bouquet sold before the owner closed when he noticed the sky had grown darker and the wind just a bit became fiercer. I went to the cemetery nevertheless while everyone else scurried. Eventually I came to the cemetery's gates and trekked up the steep hill that would lead to the headstones. I know it's weird that my dad's buried here but in his last will and testimony he requested to be cremated and buried in Karakura. Of course it was strange; we lived in Osaka and we didn't have any relation with Kararkura (until after his death to visit his grave every year) or at least we thought _he_ didn't. He never mentioned this one specific town but in fact he mentioned way too many places to count on my fingers as he apparently liked travelling. Basically, he was a drifter before meeting my mom; a man without a hometown, a home, or a family. Nothing at all to return to but it seemed like it didn't bother him. It was okay; Japan was actually all his. So the question comes; why was this one tiny town so special? I still don't know really even after finally moving here. I came face to face with his gravestone now and laid the bouquet down on the ground. Reluctantly, I spoke like any sociable person would.

"Um, hey. It's been a while huh?" I chuckled a little. "Well, maybe not hehe." My fake petit smile dashed away just than to form a deep frown.

"I can only guess why you hid everything from us. I wish you didn't but you must have had some good reason, right? …it doesn't matter now though. What you did was okay," I'm lying through my teeth and I started shaking. I grasped my left arm with my right hand as hard as I could. I have to stop my weakness; I can't show it in front of him. My dad of all people can't see just how weak I still am. I'm still weak and scared like I was back then; I couldn't do a single thing to help and still I can't really help mom. My poor mother who was left alone in her bedroom, left alone with a kid, left alone with her own sadness. She cried in the kitchen to let you go, dad, and I let her be. I didn't do a single thing to show her I was still here to hold on with her. I'm a horrible person for not protecting mom after you were gone and I can't help at all. I can't because I'm so weak and helpless. If only I were stronger and if I only I had seen something back then then I would do everything I could to avenge you. I would truly do everything I could but reality…motherfucking reality is always standing in the way! It's always shunning me down to the point where I can't do anything and making me feel like shit and making me into a real mess and making me…see that no matter what I was the culprit who killed…you…reality is harsh and earnest and it points the finger at me. Because of my weakness and fears, I let the real murderer get away…because of me you died! I collapsed on my knees and screamed to the clouds and everything above. This is all I can do dad! I can scream and hurt. Dad, I still miss you, I still burn! My scream shriveled down to choking noises just as the rain began to fall. And as it fell, my head and shoulders lowered and I, too, cried. I sound so disgusting and sad and the rain didn't cloak me but intensified the sounds making me sound as if I was choking on water once it had covered me. The rain was covering me, embracing me in its coolness.

And then, it stopped hitting my skin. Only my skin. I rubbed my eyes to see water still pelting the pavement.

"Hanabi-chan," Orihime's soft voice spiked my poor brain. I looked over my shoulder carefully and there she was with her ever present good natured aura. She was crouched down to meet my face, an umbrella in one hand and the other free until it made its way to my face. She wiped away the water from my damped face and cupped one side of it. I leaned just a little to the touch.

"I'm here," she lightly smiled and my faced scrunched as tears fell again. She moved her hand to the back my head and pulled me close to her where I cried onto her olive baggy raincoat. She soothe and cooed like a mother would. I'm such a wimp.

My tears soon dried and I was hiccupping and the rain ceased. The sun was peeking out ever so slightly, attempting to warm the grounds. I pushed myself off of Orihime to look at her. I forced the muscles on my face to form a sad or a sincere or the best smile I could manage.

"Thank you, Orihime," she smiled.

"Yeah, do you wanna sit somewhere?" I shrugged and murmured an 'I guess.' She closed the umbrella, slid the curved hook onto her wrist, and pulled herself up along with me. Orihime pulled me lightly by the wrist to a drenched bench about 15 headstones from my dad. She let go once we got there and I flopped down in a heap of a mess. My skirt and the bench made a wet slippery sound upon friction that felt awkward. From the corner of my eye I could see her smooth the raincoat over her skirt from the back and carefully sit down. I looked straight ahead though I swear I could feel Orihime's eyes on me. We didn't say anything; she because of respect and me because I felt like it. I inhaled the after rain mist, enjoying the wonderful smell mixed with the grass and trees. Slowly, I closed my eyes, deeply taking in the cool air and picturing my old house. We used to have a porch out back and I would stay out there during the whole time it would rain with a quilt draped over my head, just watching the droplets fall onto the leaves and petals of several trees and flowers we had out there. The colors softly enhanced along with the smells by the rain gave me a sense of true beauty in nature. I smiled a little when I remembered that I always ended up being sick afterwards.

"A smile; a real one this time." I looked over to Orihime whose eyes were lowered onto her lap. I stared at her, mouth slightly open. Her face didn't support her usual light but instead a tiny iridescent speck that was slowly diminishing. It bothered me that she looked like that; so mature and serious that there was no space for childhood almost sad. But sadness wasn't really what was present in her eyes. No, I was familiar with those kinds of eyes. It was pity and it was nerve wreck. I clenched my hands and looked away. I sighed and lay back on the bench. We sat for a while longer until Orihime spoke.

"Are you cold?" I shook my head.

"Oh, but you haven't stopped shaking." Crap, I didn't realize. I hugged my tiny form and tried snuggling in deeper into my uniform jacket. I glanced over to Orihime who was completely fine with her baggy olive green rain coat that she hadn't been wearing this morning. I sniffed, a sign that I was gonna be sick.

"You weren't wearing that thing this morning," I raised an eyebrow as she slowly turned pink with a cheesy grin.

"Kurosaki-kun let me borrow it,"

"…so you wouldn't get wet following me, right?" her grin dropped to an apologetic smile as she scratched the back of her head.

"He told you to follow me, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he was concerned but he thought it was best that I follow you since he can't trace reitasu."

"I don't blame him. Doing that kind of stuff makes my head hurt." I frowned a bit. "You…you guys noticed something off, didn't you?" she nodded.

"Then I'm not as good as I thought I was." I bitterly smiled. Again silence but she fidgeted every once and a while. I noticed and thought that maybe she was trying to suppress the need to ask questions.

"Aren't you gonna ask?"

"Huh?"

"Don't you wanna know why my dad's here?" Her eyes widened and she shook both hands along with her head.

"O-oh, no, no, not at all! You don't have to say anything. I'm not even gonna ask." Oh, how nice. Saves me the explanations, well the only half-assed explanations I have. I started shaking again and felt just a bit colder.

"Yo! Quit mopping already!" A voice rose out from I don't know where. I looked at Orihime who was equally confused. My eyes frantically scanned our surroundings until I heard Orihime's (Ichigo's) jacket rustle. We looked and my mouth opened for flies when a yellow lion plushy popped out of the large pocket.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" it talked. It freaking talked!

"What the hell is that thing?" I didn't care who answered, I just needed to know I wasn't insane. The thing crossed its arms and its beady eyes narrowed with annoyance.

"Have some manners, kid. But if you have to know who I am, that's fine," it grinned like a wise ass and dramatically struck a pose on Orihime's knees . "Sir Psycho Sexy that is me!"

"Bull."

"What! Don't call it bull!"

"It is bull; you're stealing from Chili Peppers." It cursed under its breath and stared into my soul (or tired) with its mad beady eyes which only grew more annoyed as I sneered down at it. Next thing I knew I was holding my eye! The little turd got me in the eye!

"You little-!" before I could grasp my hand around its damn head, he hid behind Orihime's head (…argh!).

"Kon-san, you shouldn't attack people you don't know," Orihime softly noted.

"Yeah, Kon!"

"Shut up!"

"Don't push me." I threatened. It carefully peeked out. I released a heavy sigh.

"Like I yelled before, what the hell is that thing?"

"His name's Kon-san and apparently he has a plush toy as a body. That's all I know really." Orihime answered. I'm confused.

"Let me explain things," Kon stepped out and plopped himself on Orihime's lap. "I'm a mod konpaku within this chick magnet body." I'm still confused.

"Heh, chick magnet. Yeah, right," he made that throaty noise of disbelief.

"Kon-san, why were you in Kurosaki-kun's jacket?" Orihime asked to diverge his attention.

"I wanted to get back at that bastard Ichigo for throwing me out the window again. I wanted everyone to see he was such a wuss and all but I fell asleep."

"Wow, you're a mastermind." I joked.

"Your sarcasm isn't needed, brat."

"Brat!" I want to rip out his stuffing so bad cuz he got me in the eye again!

"Dammit, that hurts!"

"No shit." That wise ass. He's gonna get it sooner or later but not here of all places. I let go of another sigh and stretched my limbs and back. I glanced over at the duo, still pissed at Kon.

"C'mon, let's get of this place; it's depressing." I was already ahead and Orihime followed in a scurry with Kon in her pocket.

I quicken my pace once Orihime was beside me but with each passing minute I hurried just a little bit more as I felt the knots in my stomach tighten. There was something that made my heart pound on my ribcage; be it the fact that my dad's buried here or that this place was desolate from the rest of Karakura, perhaps the world. I looked to the trees and sky and the ground carefully; there was nothing. No animal whatsoever and here we are, completely alone. There wasn't any noise besides the wind and the pitter patter of our shoes which only made me more aware of our detachment.

I opened my mouth to tell Orihime only I didn't. I stopped walking as I felt danger rise. And I looked past my shoulder to up above where the danger was coming down on us. Yellow eyes glared at me but I was even more worried about the fist rapidly falling towards us. But it missed; I jumped as far as I could, surprised by the distance I leapt. Debris flew in the air; dirt went into my eyes, chunks of concrete occasionally hit my legs and arms, one piece managing to slash my left cheek. I took a good look at the Hollow that had just attacked and I trembled. This one was taller than the first Hollow I've encountered; at best it stood about three stories tall. It was lean with monstrous hands like that of a boxer.

As the dust settled, I could see the top portion of another Hollow behind this one and it, too, was just as tall as his buddy. But its back was turned and its focus was on something else; without a doubt, on Orihime. I still couldn't see her.

"Orihime, are you okay?" I yelled over to her, hoping for a response.

"Yeah!" came her answer much to my relief. And I saw her at last once the dust cleared to our feet; she wasn't fazed the least bit or harmed in anyway. In fact, she had barely moved from where the Hollow's punch landed. I'm guessing that the triangular, translucent, orange glowing shield helped. I stared in awe at the abnormal thing but my attention was ripped away by a falling forearm. I quickly dodge it (much to my surprise). Again I landed a good distance away from it but just as it noticed where I was it came forth with another fist or forearm. One after another they came and I nearly got caught as my eyes kept moving back and forth from the Hollow to Orihime. The Hollow kept foolishly pounding on her shield and it was slowly cracking, giving away just a little with each punch. I eventually jumped my way to Orihime's side, my knees ready to buckle at any given minute but I had to stand strong. Despite my loud pants, I could still hear Orihime having a rather fast pace conversation with Kon but I couldn't quite make sense of what they were saying. Her head immediately snapped to turn to me after she was through with Kon and with frowned eyebrows and eyes slightly narrowed and in a voice I've never heard her use she said the impossible; "Hanabi-chan, you have to change into your shinigami form." I blinked several times, still processing her words.

"But how-?"

"Move!" she pushed me away as her shield caved in with the Hollow's fist impacting the asphalt. Thankfully, debris concealed us once again but I cursed under my breath as I realized I couldn't see Orihime or the Hollows. Then, I heard Kon scream, gradually growing louder and closer. The next thing I knew something collided with my face with great cushiony force. I held my face and heard a _plop_ hit the pavement. Peeking down through my fingers, I saw a dazed and confused Kon trying to reassure himself he's still alive. His flat head then tilted up to see me with a panic stricken expression and with strong legs leapt to get ahold of my head. In my face he yelled, "Quick, reach into my mouth, take the pill and swallow it!" I pulled him away from the torso.

"Ew, I'm not-," my protest was cut short by the oncoming foot. We were so close to being stomped; man did we dodge another bullet (bullet after bullet)! Dust picked up again but this time it didn't stop the Hollow from charging at us again. Shit, I rammed my hand into Kon's mouth, trying to keep my cool despite the disgustingly wet (?) gagging noises Kon made. My fingers brushed a smooth, tiny surface, figuring that it's the 'pill', I grasped onto it and pulled it out. Immediately, I popped the light green pill into my mouth (ugh!).

My soul lifted, my hair flew around me like a veil, power coursed through my veins in my arms and legs to my heart and although the Hollow hesitated for a split second, it stupidly charged forth. I grinned with cockiness. It didn't notice that I was already high above its head and my blade was swinging down. My sword connected and went through its poor shielded identity.

"Koten Zanshun, I reject!" I looked over to the voice in time to see an orange bolt of lightning shoot right into the other Hollow's torso. The Hollow split in two, both halves being cleanly cut. The lightening then reverted its direction to return to Orihime's side where the orange glow dimmed into her hair.

"Wow…," I gawked, unaware that I had said it out loud for Orhime to hear. She looked at me and smiled.

"Surprised?" I blushed but grinned like a fool.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I didn't know you had such an awesome power!" she chuckled and rubbed the back of her head.

"It's not all that awesome,"

"Are you kidding? I've never seen anything like that! It was so perfect!" I was beaming up at her, awestruck, and totally fawning over my friend's gifted ability.

"I've never seen anything like you either, Hanabi-chan," she noted, lightly picking a lock of my long white hair. I gave her a lopsided grin.

"I'm nothing special, not like you."

"That's where you're wrong," she looked walked a little to where the town could be overlooked. The sun was peering out through the clouds. "There is always something within us that makes an identity of our own." I lowered my head a bit.

"That's kinda cliché,"

"Maybe but it makes you feel better and that's all that matters." I mumbled a soft 'I guess.' I glanced at Orihime, expecting her genuine smile. Instead her face was flushed and her eyes were huge saucers staring in disbelief. I, confused, turned to look behind me and I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I gritted my teeth and flushed furiously as Kon, in my body, pulled on my panties with one hand and the other cupped around one of my small boobs. In a dash, I gave him a good knock on the (my) head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I bellowed as he held his (my) head, crouched over in pain.

"Experimenting," another whack at his damn head.

"Ouch! This is still you're body!"

"I don't care! This is the consequence for violating a woman's body!"

"Heh, woman. That's not what your boobs tell me," my next punch was thankfully caught by Orihime. I groaned out of frustration.

"Okay, Kon, time to get out of my body." I just walked right into my body like last time nothing special except when I felt the pill I had previously swallowed in my throat, I was forced to hack it up. I wiped the spit from the corners of my mouth before feeling the pain from my punches come in slowly until it took over me and I doubled over in pain. Crap.

"You should've listened to me brat!" Kon gloated once he was back into his plushy 'body' thanks to Orihime's generosity.

"Ugh, y-you're so luck y-you damn rag. Ow," I took ahold of my head, feeling horrible bumps on my scalp. I touched my left cheek, still oozing out blood and feeling very little had dried. I brushed my fingers against my legs and arms; bruises were forming and they hurt to touch. I started chewing on my inner cheek as a way to surpass the urge to opening my mouth. I occasionally groaned in pain and sucked my teeth whenever I lightly touched a cut. Placing my hands on my abdomen, I was relieved that there wasn't anything wrong but I looked down to my skirt where there were tears and holes; small stains of blood and dirt making it worse. My socks were in bad shape, too. I sighed.

"Man, what am I gonna tell my mom?" of course I didn't expect anyone to suggest anything. Should I tell her I got into a fight? Got mugged? I fell? Hmm, of course she won't believe me.

"Let me help, Hanabi-chan." Before I knew it, before I even had the chance to look at her, an orange glow surrounded me. I gasped a little as I felt my whole body was the kind that you feel when someone does an act of random kindness; it was the kind that you feel when hear a song that touches your heart ever so slightly. I feel so warm. And then, right before my eyes, the cuts and holes closed up, just like that. My bruises shrink and change from blue to peach. I feel my head for those gross bumps and they're shrinking, too (kinda gross to feel though)! It's bewildering. I stare at Orihime with my mouth opening and closing, unable to say a thing. She just smiles. Eventually the orange glow disintegrates and two small lights disappear into Orihime's hairpins. Finally I regain my voice.

'"Th-that was so cool~! You healed me! You really did!"

"It's nothing really,"

"B-but that was a healing ability! That's impressive. I-, "I got socked in the eye.

"Quit smothering my babe!" dammit I forgot this little twerp was still here. "You're way too close for your own good twerp!" oh that's rich. I snatch him from Orihime's shoulder and despite her scrambled illegible protests; I kick him out into the sky where I can no longer see him what with the sunlight blinding me. I turn around and stomp away, Orihime follows but she's still blabbering. I grumble and curse under my breath about that damn Kon, school, my period, and all the things that piss me off. And as I mumbled on and on, I was slugged in the head by guess who? Yup, Kon the little piece of crap. I whirled around to find him already in Orihime's protective pocket. I grind my teeth and growl. I still stomp away but relax as I feel a gentle pat.

"There, there." I don't like pity pats but I'll make an exception. The comfort doesn't really help so my face is still frowning (albeit an _exact_ replica of Ichigo's) and Orihime notices so she breaks the ice.

"Um, what's a 'Sir Psycho Sexy?'"

"It's actually a song from an American band; Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"Oh, so you understand English?"

"Uh huh,"

"I know English, too." Kon butts in, should've known he would.

"Yeah I bet you do,"

"Really! I can even sing."

"Okay, then let's start with 'Sir Psycho Sexy,'" clearing my throat I start singing and to my absolute surprise Kon sings, too, with a heavy accent but still, he was right on cue.

"_A long, long, long, time ago_

_Before the wind, before the snow_

_Lived a man, lived a man I know_

_Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho," _

What surprised me the most was that I was actually jamming with Kon. Kon, the little piece of crap! My mood improved and so did his and we were actually enjoying ourselves.

"_Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb_

_She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand_

_On her crotch so very warm_

_I could feel her getting wet through her uniform."_

For the first time since yesterday I felt genuinely happy. Bonding over music helps I guess.

"_Ooo and it's nice out here_

_I think I'll stay for a while."_

When we finished, I realized that Orihime was still with us…so she saw us singing and dancing. But I expected her to have her cheeks huge trying to surpass a huge laugh; however, her face was pretty red.

"Wh-what's wrong?" she looks down with a clenched fist over her mouth and I barely catch what she says,

"Th-that's a really dirty song," Kon and I chuckle.

"That's what you can expect from them." She smiles a bit, still embarrassed at the explicit lyrics that I've casually sang. Then she stops; her face drops along with the heavy blush and stares into space. I stop as well to call out her name a couple times. Kon also called out and tugged onto the jacket.

"Orihime!" I yelled right into her face but I guess she didn't mind much or notice cuz she just went;

"Eh?"

"Something wrong?" she shakes her head and puts on a tiny reassuring smile.

"Nope! Nothing at all." With hands folded behind her back, I would've thought she was hiding something but she really didn't look disturbed. Not that that smile of hers convinced me but it was reassuring. I don't bother to ask anything but I still stared at her a little bit longer. Soon, I push everything aside and engage with Kon about Chili Peppers' songs. We sing 'Can't Stop.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi again. I've finally uploaded after a few months which isn't good at all. Since there's no school now, i don't have a job, and I've been acting like a vampire, I'll try uploading as much as I can. Also I've started a fanfic for ninja turtles fans :) if you'd like to read. thanks for reading and enjoy and btw please review ._. I'm kinda begging now.**

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><p><strong>Déjà vu<strong>

"I'm home!" kicking off my shoes and dropping my bag and jacket, I was first greeted with the smell of roasting duck, followed by my cat's pleasant meow, and lastly my mom. She popped her head from the corner of the small hall with a bright smile I was so familiar with. I smiled a little, relieved that she was back to her old self.

"Welcome back." I walk to her, studying her face in the process. Her eyes were still puffy but they were a shiny blue. We walked to the kitchen together.

"Smells good, mom. Whatcha cooking?" the smell was over powering by the time we reached the kitchen which I liked cuz my stomach was roaring. But my mouth dropped to the floor as I saw the huge mess of dishes and splatters of unknown liquids all over the floor and cabinets.

"Well, I thought that starting today I'll incorporate one main ingredient into our meals every day! Today is roast duck,"

"M-m-mom, I just cleaned the floor!" I wined.

"Oh yeah… oh well, we'll clean it later." She beamed and skipped over to the oven.

"But all we're having is roast duck, why the mess?" mom looked up after checking on her thing inside.

"I wanted the roast duck to be something fancy and I was also timing myself. You know, like in those cooking competions. But I gave up." She's not normal. I should've expected her to do this at some point in life. I take a seat either way. She places a plate of roast duck and with some unknown pink slimy substance in front of me. I poke at it.

"What is _this_?" she didn't hear me though; her attention was all consumed at whatever was in the oven. Then the timer, conveniently placed on the stove, rang and mom slipped on her oven mitts with delight. I smelled chocolate cake which I like but then my mind wondered back to her words of a main ingredient. Putting two and two together without examining the cake, I knew what mom had done.

"I'm out." I promptly pushed back my seat and headed for the stairs.

"Ah, no, Hanabi. Come back! You haven't eaten yet."

"And I'm not hungry." I locked myself in my room after that.

I slept like a log at first, peaceful and heavy. But as pleasant as it was, it didn't last. Sweat precipitated from my forehead and palms that clutched what I thought were my bed sheets. I felt myself thrashing around but not in my bed. It felt almost like nothing was supporting me. Nothing underneath; just nothing it seemed. I couldn't open my eyes, not that I wanted to anyways. I didn't want to wake up to nothingness again. I didn't want it and so I didn't. Instead, behind my eyelids, I saw flashes of dark colors and people. People I know dowsed in those dark, hideous colors flashed before me over and over again. Mostly the color vermilion appeared in splatters on asphalt and hands. I continuously screamed at a face of someone I know; Ichigo's eyes gouged away, poor Rukia slashed across her chest, Ishida without hands, Orihime ripped open, Chad, Tatsuki, Mizuro, Keigo…all of them burnt or mutilated. My head appeared just then with slashed cheeks from ear to ear. My mom appeared with her delicate wrists nailed and her eyes bloodied and wild. And then my dad…the exact image of his actual murder scene was right there! His katana stood proudly protruding on his back, glistening in whatever light reflected. I screamed louder and clawed my thighs and neck. My eyes opened for tears to spill and stare into a white sky. I breathed in heavy and hard, the cold penetrating my lungs from the inside and that for sure didn't help the least bit. I rolled to my side where I curled into a protective ball and rocked myself like a child. I don't know what to do; I don't know what's going on; I don't know anything. I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know please stop stop stop stop stop stop…! I shivered fiercely as snow fell. The snow fell softly and landed on my skin like feathers. Then it turned into a flurry which covered me into a soft blanket that surprisingly felt warm; so warm, it warmed my weak, petrified heart. I heard a soft crunching of footsteps on top of snow. I lifted my head just a little. Whoever it was, he stopped in front of me, stood for a while and kneeled down to touch my arm. His hands were so damn cold compared to the snow. I see the beige cloak covering his black kimono…please don't let it be the same man…please…I'm so weak. Leave me alone. Please. I can't do anything. This guy knows that, so he picks up my upper body to cradle into his arms. I can't speak there's no voice to ask why. I'm so close to his chest; I could feel his heart on my cheek pounding in even beats, in even rhythmic tempo. I've never been this close to a guy, even in my dreams, but I knew that this feeling is very different; this closeness is actually different than what most people define a love, this love at first sight was what I needed to complete that missing part of me. My face heats up and I try burying deeper into his chest and clothes, hoping he doesn't see. My heart begins to race. I wonder, in all of the quietness, if could he hear my heart. Please don't. The snow falls like love. And then he speaks in a cool and composed voice.

"I'm with you." One hand then leaves my body and I look up. He pulls down the hood that was shielding his face. His perfect face. Eyes of winter and hair like clouds. I hide. But he holds my chin, lightly tilts my head upwards to see the coolness of his face. I stare as he does the same; deep into each other's eyes. And I can't stop there; I want to touch him. I reach up with both hands that have now found strength and place them on either side of his face. I try to lift myself a bit higher but can't. He notices and, with a hand on my back, he helps. Friction begins to close between our lips slowly; my eyes do the same, my mind trying to take a photo of his face. I want this to last. Then my eyes close but they flutter open in my room. My heart sinks. It was nothing more than a dream. Again.

The call of my name and the quick snapping of fingers brought me back from thoughts. I shook my head a bit and looked over to my mom who had been by my side. She frowned a bit after I gave her a clueless 'huh?'

"You've been out of it lately, Hanabi. Are you okay? Did you catch a cold?" she brushed off my choppy bangs away to lay her hand on my forehead. I didn't make an attempt to brush it off even though the heat of our skin did bother me.

"I'm fine, mom." Her brows lifted ever so slightly but her eyes remained small and skeptical.

"But you're practically glowing red." I didn't believe her but then the thought bothered and urged me to confirm that I wasn't glowing as she stated. So I slowly brought one hand up to my face and the other managed to find the spoon I was using for my cereal. She kept a close watch on me. My face did feel hot I noted so I knew that without a doubt it would be red. Holding up the spoon to eye level, my face was reflected hideously with a huge nose and bug eyes but of course there was the damn red splash on my face. I threw the spoon and started slapping my face with both hands on either cheek. Mom jumped a little at the sudden action but quickly took ahold of my hands and brought them on down to my lap.

"No more masochistic tendencies," I pouted and grumbled, "I'm not a masochist." She rolled her eyes.

"Cool story." My mouth dropped to the floor as she walked away to the sink. The doorbell rang just then. Retaining my composure, I went off to get it and greet the bubbly auburn friend of mine.

"Hi, Ori-," my face dropped a little. Ichigo and Rukia were there with Orihime not that I really minded but still.

"Hey," "Good Morning." They both greeted. I mumbled a 'hi.' My mom pops out of nowhere involuntarily pushing me aside. She put on this big cheesy grin at my friends.

"Oh, Hanabi are these your 'eses', your 'homies', your 'home skillet biscuits?'"

"Ma! Too much MTV for you!" I pushed her aside and away from the door, away from them. She protested saying this and that about meeting my posy, me having a posy to begin with and such and such all the while I was holding her back. I was also trying to get my bag and put on my damn shoes. The door had already closed in front of their faces thankfully but they could without a doubt hear the commotion. They must think my mom must be mental or something. Finally with one last great push, I ran out the door as she tried to regain her balance. They were still there and had incredulous looks plastered onto their faces. Ii started pushing them all out into the curb mumbling, "Hurry she's coming!" it was all a big mess; they stumbled and their limbs would involuntarily twist into each other. they almost tripped too. We were already a few feet away from the gate until my mom came out and called out after me, "Hanabi!" I turned with hot cheeks. "What!" I yelled at her but instead of snapping back she smiled and waved, "Have a nice day, sweetheart." My face grew hotter with embarrassment just then.

"You too," I mumbled as if she could hear. Once I've stopped pushing everyone, I stole glances at them for a reaction. The look of incredulity was still on Orihime and Rukia, however, Ichigo's face was flushed. Rukia cleared her throat.

"I see your mother is quite the morning person." I sighed heavily.

"You have no idea," we talked as we walked to school but Ichigo fell more towards the end. I looked over my shoulder just a little occasionally to see puzzlement all over his face and nervousness on his hands. I fell towards the back with him slowly. His gaze was lowered to his feet and he hadn't noticed my presence. I popped my head into his gaze. "Hey," he gasped a little but regained himself quickly.

"Hi,"

"You're pretty quiet today. Are you lost in thought?" I started swinging my arms while waiting for him to answer.

"Yeah, you could say that,"

"Is there something you wanna say? Hmm? To some pretty girl maybe?" he frowned his eyebrows down to the level of sarcasm.

"Don't flatter yourself." I held up my hands in defense and shook my head.

"I wasn't talking about myself, I was talking about Orihime."

"Huh?" Orihime turns her head to the sound of her name. I cupped my mouth.

"Ichigo wants-." He bonked me on the head and I bit my tongue. He grumbled, "Never mind." I punched him in the stomach and would've gotten him again if he didn't stop my other fist. He hissed in a low voice.

"Don't start things." I pulled away and crossed my arms and he shortly followed. We didn't talk for a while until he mellowed out for a bit by uncrossing his arms.

"Actually, there's something on my mind. But it's bothering me."

"Care to share." He coughed a little into his fist.

"Um, you see, I don't know why but um," he scratched his head and squirmed a little "I've been having these weird feelings every time I see your mom." He looked over to me apologetically and almost scared that I'd might over react. I might as well have and I could've punched him in the nuts cuz what I'm getting is that he's hitting on my mom.

"You're hitting on my mom, you bastard." I said, completely mundane.

"No, no, you're wrong its not like that!" he protested.

"Sure it is. You're getting the hots for her."

"No, hear me out; look I have the feeling that I should," he gulped and air quoted "'love and have her' but the best of my judgment and actual feelings push it aside to the point where I feel squirmish and nervous. And…I feel like she can look right into me." I relaxed a bit although I still felt a little pissed so I didn't speak. It was an awkward silence that just passed by us, humid and heavy it felt like and Ichigo broke the ice.

"But these thoughts and feelings aren't mine, it's like they're somebody else's." somebody else's huh? It would sound like total BS but…I don't think it is at all. That somebody else could only be my dad. We walked into to school in pairs and agonizingly take our time to reach our classroom where the social groups are few compared to the hallways. We stay together, tightly packed, and slowly people make their way to us. Everyone chats in this mixed group of guys and girls, humans and shinigamis, the quiet and the loudmouths. Small fights arise, Ichigo vs. Ishida, Ichigo vs. Kegio (although, it wasn't much of a fight), Tatsuki vs. Chizuru for Orihime's hand (?), Ichigo vs. Rukia and then…

"Rukia, his mouth is more like this." Quickly in my notebook I doodled Ichigo as I really see him with my mind's eye; a large strawberry with beady eyes and a tight line for a mouth sits atop a stick figure body. I show it to Rukia but everyone gathers with their faces smooshed to get a good look. They burst out laughing, choking up on giggles, but Ichigo is the only one doesn't. Instead his face scrunched up in irritation at the drawing.

"She really did a good job at _pfft_ portraying you, Kurosaki," Ishida covered his mouth to hide his smile.

"Y-you mad, bro?" Rukia taunts as she wipes a tear. I wear smugness and stare at Ichigo. His face calms for a second and then he abruptly snatches my notebook which he rips out the doodle into a crumbled ball. I laugh a little but then notice the messy writing that's revealed. I panic and I'm sure as hell that turned white. The laugh dies down and Ichigo scans the page briefly before the corners of his mouth tilt up into a smug grin. He turns to me.

"Ohohoho, is this a fan fiction I see here~?" I grit my teeth. The bastard's taunting me. But this time everyone is trying to get a good peek at the story. Some stifle laughs and fake 'aws' at me. I jump and try to retrieve the notebook but that ass easily evades my hand like claws. Then he reads it aloud (D':).

"'His lips touch mine ever so slightly like a tease and although I want to press mine against his, I'm too cowardly to do so. Edward grins and presses his hard body onto mine which only melts. If only I could.' Don't tell me you put yourself into character while writing this?" finally I rip the book from his hands with a flushed out face.

"I-I-I was bored so I just jotted it down real quick, you know, so that I won't forget." Ishida pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"You used perfect punctuality and detail. Is this one of those 'Twilight' fan fictions?"

"N-no!"

"Yeah right," and once again they burst out laughing all the while Ichigo would send me smug looks of amusement as I would send him threatening glares. Then, in almost unison their laughter subsides into chuckles that all dies down into silence the surrounds me like a wall. They stare off into space and sweat begins to trickle a little down the faces of Mizuro, Kegio, Tatsuki, and Chizuru. Then I begin to feel pressure starting to press down into my chest which starts to spread all over and cover me and everyone around it seems. I'm sure this is what they're feeling, but I find that some taking it harder to swallow that others. I, too, feel the same. These presences I feel are very strong, too strong to the point where it scares me but at the same time almost it's almost…alluring. It's making its way over here, to this room, to do I don't know what. My heart beats as my blood pumps in perfect sync to the seconds of the strong presences make their way over here. We all look over to the classroom's entrance; I think I'm the only one looking harder and focusing more at the damn thing than anyone right now. The door slams open and I flinch without blinking at the harsh sound. I remember in that split second before a voice speaks: the feeling of intense alluring pressure begins to subside and within the three distinctive pressures, one starts to morph a little into pain…the exact same pain I've felt when meeting Ichigo.

"Not you again," Ichigo groaned.

I clutch the hem of my skirt, bite down on my tongue, and stare on wards with oxygen trapped in my throat. There's a man with crimson hair tied up and sharp tattoos peeking out from the sleeves of the white shirt, I can see them also crawl up to his neck. His small eyes narrow with amusement as his mouth forms a toothy, cocky grin.

"I see that you've missed us."

"No, not really." Ichigo grinned with obvious disgust. My eyes then slightly look over to the small flash that passes by Ichigo. Rukia makes her way, in a quick pace, to stand in front of the tall man and I hear her address him as, "Renji," but everything after that is muffled to me. It's too fast paced and far away and I'm having some trouble getting oxygen to my brain. The white florescent lights shine upon strawberry blonde hair that flips nonchalantly back over a shoulder further reveling the woman's hardly-clothe-large cleavage. She smiles with full lips and beauty mark.

"Orihime it's so good to see you!" she holds out her arms and rushes over to Orihime tightly embracing her to the point that she can't breathe. Tatsuki is flabbergasted and Chizuru might as well have gotten a female boner. I would be laughing and pointing but quickly after following the woman, my eyes avert to the door with the man Renji and Rukia now talking with fumed words. I focus on the small feet shuffling behind the man's long legs. I ignore everything and hardly notice the word battle abruptly stop.

"…the spike? Central 46 noticed it, even from all the way over there?" asked Rukia.

"Yeah, since all the bullshit that has happened, the Central had the Bureau install numerous devices to detecte anything…_abnormal_." His eyes lift up to land on our group and catches sight of me. He cocks his head a little over his shoulder, small red irises never leaving my face.

"Hitsugaya-taicho is that her?" the small feet stop their shuffling, stand still briefly, until moving over to stand at the door frame by Renji. I choke at the sight of him; the eyes of winter stare at my demon black eyes.

"Yeah, that's Higari Hanabi." At the sound of my name, I push back my chair with sheer force, scratching the tiles, and in the process hitting someone behind me. I rip through the people blocking my path to the door; stumbling with chairs and desks occasionally getting hit and almost tripping. My name repeats in numerous voices with questions that penetrate but none more deeper than with 'Hitsugaya's' voice. I accidentally look back at my worried group but I find that my eyes have addicted themselves at looking at Hitsugaya. I almost scream with tears collecting. I recollect myself just then in order to make a mad dash to the furthest bathroom. Sometime later, I don't know how far I went or how long it's been, I see that I'm looking a gross tile wall. I shift my eyes to the girls facing the mirrors who stare back. Through gritted teeth, I growl intangible words. They only stare at me, then at each other until their damn eyes are back at me. I growl louder in frustration and bellow.

"Get the hell out! NOW!" and they run out in fear. My voice still echoes and I hear the ugliness of it. Kicking the first stall I turn to, I close the door behind with a boom, breathe in heavily and short. I can't take deep breaths, not with the damn pain still throbbing even though a lot of time has passed. I drop to my knees and hold my head, nearly digging my nails into my head and angry, pained tears run down my face. I'm hurting too much and the pain is making my brain's memory swim in slosh; deep, gross, heavy slosh. I grunt over and over and take in air. I scream. The door slams open followed by rushed footsteps and heavy panting.

"GET. OUT!"

"Hanabi-chan, it's me, Orihime! Please let me help you!" I bite harshly on my tongue and slap myself for yelling at her. I try to calm down but I can't find the power to overcome anything right now. She whispers through the stall's door.

"Please talk to me. I'll help you in any way I can but you have to trust me." I do trust you. It takes me time to open my mouth and resist it from clenching down in pain but even so, I make no sound and the ones I do make sound like an animal. I struggle for too long and eventually I start gagging until my stomach erupts. Some of the barf was left out onto the tile floor. I flush the toilet and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. The pain soon begins to subside but I can still feel the chills of his presence lightly touching my skin.

"I-I-I-I can…still feel…him…like he's so…near."

"Who?"

"Hitsugaya." The name itself sends a shock in my mouth.

"Is his reitasu too much for you?"

"No…but it hurts… to even think o-or say his…name, ugh,"

"…" I snort.

"It was…d-diff…rent …he was warm…back then."

"W-what are you talking about? You met him before?"

"No. I…saw 'im in…my dream." I can imagine her face, confused and at a loss.

"You-you think I'm crazy…right?"

"No." I pressed my face to the door's clammy surface. "I've seen a lot event though I'm only 16. I have to expect the unexpected at this point now." Silence surfaced as she waited for me to collect my rummaged thought.

"I'll tell…you…what I've been holding back. It's a long story if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

"Fine…I'll tell you everything." From my dad being found dead to Tokyo to Ichigo to the dreams, the graveyard and finally to now; I tell her everything with effort put into it, with detail; unbelievable detail that would make you lose your stomach. Surely she must've lost hers. As I finished, her feet began to nervously shuffle before she settled down on her knees. There was a small thud on the door, her head without a doubt. Some time passed and I figured that she would puke or something by then however she gulped, cleared her throat, and smacked her lips.

"H-has this happened before?"

"No. This is totally different."

"Very different," she agreed. "This all connected though. In some way your dreams are premonitions of things to come."

"But they don't go _according_ to the dream; like Hitsugaya, he didn't hold me today but stared…then there's the bizarre chest problems."

"They feel exactly like being stabbed you said…that man, are you sure you've never seen him?"

"No but I was so easy to trust him…that really isn't normal. Ugh," I grip the white cotton on my chest as another stab came about.

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," I wheeze out.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I find the strength to pull myself up on both feet however I still crouch and maintain my balance with my hands on my knees. I stand up right soon after and open the stall's door. She stands a few steps away from the stall, concern and paleness evident on her face. I take one look and mumble 'thank you.' She asks what did I say but I shake my head before moving to a skin and rinse my mouth with harsh cold water. In a louder voice I say; "it's late, we should go now." She's taken aback and stutters with her words.

"W-wouldn't you want to go to the nurse's office? H-HItsugaya-kun might still be there. I wouldn't want you to faint or anything." I shake my head and look at her to give her a reassuring look.

"I feel fine now, don't worry," please don't. "I feel better after talking to you." She's not convinced though but she follows me out the door. The sun's light is blinding and what's worse is the bright orange glare. Said orange glare then settles as Ichigo turns his head at the sound of our exit.

"Ichigo,"

"Kurosaki-kun, have you been waiting for a long time?"

"Yeah, I followed you, Inoue, but it's no sweat." He turns to look at me. "How are you feeling?" the way his eyes are shaded into dark, gloomy, chocolate hurts and it forms into my chest and again I feel lightheaded. I hold back and walk slowly away so they won't see my scrunched face.

"Yeah, I'm fine now," there's something dark in my voice, the oxygen is cut as my knees buckle under an unknown weight. "Totally fine-."

Ichigo POV

My heart nearly stopped but my voice and body react with great reflex as Hanabi falls for the third time since I've met her. I catch her before her head could crack open on the hard floor. Inoue is next to me at this time once having Hanabi in my arms like a child. She's pale and clammy and Inoue places her hand on her forehead, feeling for a fever.

"W-why?" she whispers. "She's so cold. We have to take to the nurse's office." I nod and hold her closer to my chest, hoping that I could warm her. As we run, I constantly look down at her face expecting her eyes to open but they don't. Instead I feel a creeping chill slowly making its way in my veins. The thought occurs; will she ever open her eyes? But I push that aside, fearing that I might jinx it. Inoue slams the door to the nurse's office, she's very anxious and worried sick.

"H-Hello?" she calls but there's no rustling of any sort. "Is someone in? Please o-our friend…!"

"Dammit! Where're the damn nurses when you need them?" I curse under my breath as I kick away a chair from my path blocking the bed. I place her down gently and pull the covers over the small still body. I shiver the longer I look at her; she looks dead almost. I can't imagine how her insides are straining themselves now. Inoue stands next to me, over Hanabi, observing her carefully.

"She's hurting on the inside. Her spirit is breaking." She closes her eyes tightly as her hands do the same forming into small fists. Her head falls low and I know how she feels; useless. We can't do a single thing to help Hanabi. My jaw clenches in anger. Inoue regains herself and grabs my arm lightly. She grabs the curtain that surrounds the bed with her other hand and pulls it to a close, dragging me along. She continues to pull me towards the front of the office, a good distance away from Hanabi, to some chairs. We sit but she hesitates to let me go. She tenses and the hard grip worries me.

"Inoue, are you okay?" she doesn't respond immediately but only looks forward at nothing. As she lets go of my arm to clutch at the hem of her skirt she talks in a low, hard voice, "Kurosaki-kun, there's something you should know." The muscles in my face loosen just a little as my curiosity perks.

"Something I should know…?" she nods and looks at my face with burning caramel eyes.

Inoue told me everything I hadn't known what was going on with Hanabi, everything that she just heard from her in the bathroom. I started past my feet, past the tiles, and into small spacing in between the tiles where dirt gathers. It was all I could stare at; I couldn't stare at Inoue. My head was boggling with endless questions without answers. I could feel a headache form at the top of my eyeballs extending over to the top of my head. I hold my head and groan but it doesn't subside. I opt to start pacing around the small room. Like that would stop the damn headache; I was only making it worse by thinking during my pacing.

"This is all connected without a doubt." I suck in my teeth. "Why the hell didn't she tell me any of this? Why hid things to make them worse?" I punch the wall as Inoue flinches.

"Kurosaki-kun-,"

Hanabi screams.


	6. Chapter 6

**Revelation:**

When I could finally feel my face, I wasn't the least bit surprised to feel hot tears and sweat falling down to drip from my chin. At first my vision could only see black, if you could actually see that, and it began to clear to a smoky gray that kept erasing from my vision into white; blinding white. But with wide eyes, I did not wince at the color; instead I looked straight ahead with heavy noisy breathes and without a doubt an anguish twisted face. I didn't know my arm was still outstretched; there wasn't a point to reach out anymore and nothing in that white room was worth reaching out for. I heard footsteps rush towards me and it made me want to crawl out of my skin, they were so foreign to me. The floppy wall of white moved aside and let in two tall creatures glowing orange. They were strange and gawky, their limbs would twist a lot and they spoke in… something not human. Each was at either side of me. I made myself look smaller under their presence, underneath their fiery brown gaze. I hid my face and covered my ears with both hands shutting my eyes tightly and, again, I screamed for mercy. They kept talking frantically in their language and I kept pleading above their voices. Something grabbed both of my wrists and was prying them from my ears but I resisted and refused to look at the monster in its eyes. But I'm weak and I didn't hold on for much longer. I looked at the thing and ceased my screaming. It was Orihime, looking at me with wide scared eyes and a muted mouth. Her speech began to resonate but the words she spilled didn't make sense to me. Words don't make sense now. And that didn't matter. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her neck tightly, fearing that I might fall back into sleep or into an abyss. I wept uncontrollably and horribly into her hair and she held my back beginning to coo. I was shaking and I still couldn't understand what she was saying. I picked on the first word after the trembling of my world began to tone down into a rumble; _'Kurosaki-kun.'_ Ichigo. I peeked slightly over my shoulder and oh, Ichigo was there.

"Ichigo…!" my heart began to slow down every, antagonizing, slow second until I could no longer hear it in my eardrums. My brain was still pounding in my skull at my temples. I relaxed just a little; the fear was still deep within my heart. I released Orihime from my tight hold and slumped down on the cold bed. No one spoke for what seemed like years. In the best soothing voice he could manage, Ichigo worded out the first syllables of the first word until his question came up to speed.

"How are you feeling?" I licked my lips, they were chapped.

"S-shitty…but I…'ve been worse." He wasn't convinced. I, myself, am not either. Again, silence but this time it only lasted some few seconds.

"Hanabi-chan, I told Kurosaki-kun,"

"'Bout wut?"

"Everything that you just told me." I didn't mind, it was Ichigo but I wished I could've spared him from my dilemmas.

"It's okay," my speech came back. "It's not a big deal." I looked at each one of them for long seconds, trying to read everything in their faces; concern, worry, fear, anxiety, and helplessness…the last thing I want them to feel.

"Don't worry about me."

"How can you expect me of that? When you just collapsed under my nose and hid everything from me." I looked hard at Ichigo who talked back to me. I growled.

"If I'm telling you not to worry then you shouldn't."

"I'm your friend, aren't I? Why are you keeping me in the dark! Don't you trust me at all?" my face almost fell.

"I do trust you." I hissed sorrowfully.

"The hell you do!"

"I just don't-!" I stopped and tried softening the words to come from my tongue. "I don't want all of your time focused on me…I don't want to burden you." I shut my eyes again. I could feel him put his large hand on my shoulder.

"You're my friend and I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I don't want you to hold back and put yourself last…share all of that hurt with us and we'll do everything within us to help you." I flashed my eyes open and the waterworks just broke and flooded. I love you guys, thank you so much. I broke down into my hands and Ichigo pulled me to his chest; shunning down every tremble my body made and keeping me safe. I realized as my mind cleared to organize itself that there was something in his hold that felt all too familiar, haunting maybe, but nostalgic nevertheless. I let myself get buried in this.

The damn nurse never came; she was just a useless employee after all. Ichigo and Orihime knew I was in no condition to go back to class, I was paler than a ghost I noticed when I looked at my reflection in the bathroom, cold water drops running along my face. I didn't know what period it was but it really didn't matter, we were gonna cut. I was afraid though, I couldn't stay on my feet for very long and I would stumble whenever I tried to walk. I was holding them back and what's worse was that I was ruining their reputation. I argued that I'd go alone but they wouldn't have it. Ichigo and I were at the lockers near the exit, waiting for Orihime to get our bags. I leaned heavily on the wall, almost falling asleep. Orihime's running footsteps snapped me out of the daze. Orihime came to us and Ichigo went over to grab his bag and mine as he thanked Orihime. He turned to me as his hands started to unbutton his shirt, revealing a black tank top underneath.

"Do you have a tank top under your shirt?" I nodded. "Then take off your shirt. We wouldn't want the cops to stop us." I unbuttoned my shirt and folded it as small as I possibly could. Ichigo also started folding his shirt and turned his attention to Orihime.

"Do you have a tank top, too?" she nodded and she too began to unbutton her shirt. From my position, I could see the brighten color on his skin glow and his eyes avert carefully to watch Orihime. That perv. I chuckled as Ichigo turned away to grab my shirt and put it in my bag as he did the same for his.

"You're such a perv." I sneered weakly at him.

"Shut up." He hissed. Fumbling in his bag, his head perked up a little and he pulled out his gym shirt. He turned back to Orihime, albeit blushing at the sight.

"Hey Inoue, would you mind putting this on instead?" she was just tucking away her shirt in her bag and noticed the shirt that was extended. She hesitantly reached her hand out but stalled.

"Are you sure?" he nodded.

"Yeah, because I don't want some assholes to be, um, checking you out or anything. Oh, and I washed it last night by the way." She mumbled 'okay' before taking the shirt and pulling it over her head. It was pretty long but it did a good job covering her body and partially her skirt.

"Smooth," I whispered. He growled but viciously glowed pink. Ichigo leaned down on one knee and motioned me to climb on his back. I questioned him and he called me a dumbass. I wish I could kick him. I climbed on his back reluctantly and he held the back of my knees as he stood up straight. The abrupt motion caused me to yelp and wrap my legs around his torso tightly.

"Chill. I'm not gonna drop you." I relaxed and unwrapped my legs from around him but I chained my arms around his neck. We walked out with ease; security is pretty useless too. Maybe he's doing the nurse. I laid my head down on Ichigo's shoulder. He and Orihime began to talk.

"Did you tell Rukia?"

"Yeah, she said she'll see you home."

"Did the others say anything?"

"Everyone was pretty worried and shaken up at what…happened. Renji-kun protested not to take her home but Hitsugaya-kun-," I groaned loudly. "I'm sorry. Anyways, he told us that it'd be best if she did go home, so long as we take care of her."

"Of course he'd boss us, too." Ichigo mumbled. I groaned a little more and rustled.

"What is it?" Ichigo cocked his head a little towards me. I spoke as loudly as I could.

"I can't go home; my mom's probably home."

"My house is out of the question, too." he pondered for a bit. "Inoue, do you mind if we stay over at your place for a bit." She nodded.

"It's no problem. But we're going to have to take the bus." I don't know how long we walked but we were fairly far from the school; this area wasn't familiar to me. The bus took a while too, these damn things are never on schedule, and the heat was also unbearable. The driver was running late I noticed, he was driving fast and clumsy, narrowly missing people and cars. Convenient for us but I felt nausea take me over again and by the time we got off, I barfed on some poor guy's car. We made a mad dash from the crime scene (I was carried away). In no time, we walked up the steps of Orihime's apartment complex. She rustled with her keys before opening the door. I looked around for a bit; her apartment was very small and almost cramped but nevertheless super homey. Cozy little place really. Orihime reentered the room with a new pink shirt on and unraveled a futon out onto the floor, the pillow under her arm was placed down with it. Ichigo let me down but held my shoulders steady as I walked over to the futon where I flopped down. The pillow was cool for my hot head. I mumbled thanks. Ichigo and Orihime started talking about who knows what and what I really don't care. I flopped over to my back and looked up to the ceiling painted a light cream.

"Hanabi-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure, water would be nice" I glanced over at her as she nodded and got up.

"How about you, Kurosaki-kun?" He smiled.

"Sure." she left to the kitchen, the room without a door down the small hall but I couldn't see much. Ichigo was staring off into space that smile still plastered on his face.

"I bet you'd like to tap that." I sneered, jabbing a thumb over at the kitchen and lifting my head up a little, ignoring the pain. He broke out of his daydream to glare at me, however, failing to send anything threatening, his cheeks were tinted pink. Orihime came back before Ichigo was given the chance to hit me. She carried the glasses on a tray with cookies; I sat up and shoved some in my mouth when she settled down the tray on the floor. I was being careful of the crumbs. In my mass eating, I didn't care at the awkward stares of Ichigo and Orihime but the stare I did notice was that from a framed photograph. I stopped eating and took a sip of water to wash it down before asking.

"Hey, who's that Orihime?"

"My big brother." She said through before biting into a cookie.

"That's an alter…" I looked down at my lap, fiddling with the folds of my skirt. I never asked Orihime about her family, I was rather too consumed with my own problems to even think Orihime had any. In this apartment, there was no mother or father; there was no way a family could really fit here. This man in this photograph was important no doubt, to be the only picture out here.

"Don't look like that." I snapped my head up at Orihime who was watching me attentively.

"It's just…I didn't know you were missing someone," I shrugged. "I can't help but feel bad."

"Don't. It's okay, I'm okay, and I'm sure he's okay, too." she beamed without hesitation or grief.

"How do you know?" Her large smile settled down to a soft one.

"We were finally able to have closure." I don't know what that means but if I asked I'm sure she'd tell me with some tears. I'd rather wait. I nibbled on a cookie. Some time passed, I stayed quiet, debating in my head and painfully collecting my memories of today. Hitsugaya and Ichigo have some role in what is going on, that I'm for sure now. What it is I don't know just yet, I can't quite figure the big picture out just yet but I do have small theories. Hitsugaya is supposed to save me in some way; Ichigo has a connection with my dad, in appearance, yes, what he has to do, I don't know. But that first dream, with the yellow eyes, doesn't send anything good in mind. I feel like something inside wants to be wary of Ichigo but I shove that aside. I don't want to doubt Ichigo. My father also has a say in all of this even though he's been dead for years. That white woman, she's also a part of this but she's no threat. There's nothing threatening about her and I wanna believe that. Lastly, that man; he's real, I don't doubt that just like I don't doubt that he's a great threat to me.

"Is that your serious face?" Ichigo smirked.

"Yes, do you like?" he shrugged as I smirked but I let that fall.

"Guys, there's something I want to tell you." I looked in their eyes with all the courage I can muster and hopefully they can see the trust in them, despite the blackness. They nodded me to go on and I took in a deep breath before beginning, "After I passed out I had a dream…but it was also a memory,"

I don't remember opening my eyes. My eyes failed on me and the next thing I knew, I found myself staring into a gray sky. I smelled the air around me, welcomed in my dreamland to fresh spring rain. Pink petals fluttered through the chilly moist wind and sadly I remember this place; this beautifully horrible place. How could I ever forget? I snapped my head forward which had been facing upwards. There I saw myself with reddish cheeks and hands clutched at the fabric of my deceased father. I was breaking inside at the scene before me; this is the exact moment he died. I sucked in air and held onto that gulp before releasing it from my mouth. My eyes began to sting, I hiccupped but I didn't let myself cry just yet…but the guilt and shame made its way through just fine. My heart screamed at me, 'murderer!' it said. I bitterly chuckled in a foreign voice. I've tried to bury that thought, that accusation, somewhere untouched but it's a zombie I guess. It just won't die unless you take out the head. I'm a murderer, aren't I? Aren't I? I shut my eyes as I pulled my hair, unable to stand the anxiety of my rapid heartbeat and unspeakable fear that gulped me down.

"Pretty," I snapped my eyes open to the small voice, that same voice I had lost down the road to the night. My father petted my child self's head and smiled.

"Yes, tonight really is beautiful," my breath hitched. "but maybe you should go inside. The night is also cold." She cuddled closer to him and smiled brighter.

"Nah, I'm fine. If I'm strong enough to survive a crash then I can survive in the cold." How naïve. I wasn't strong at all; I was freezing at the time. My father rolled his eyes, grinned, and ruffled her hair.

"If you say so," My child self looked up to the cherry blossom trees with delight, a dreamy innocent look. My father looked up to the sky instead. I've lived this part of my life before, the sounds in nightmares, so why did I jump at the horrible screeching? Oh yeah, fear. I scanned the area as my dad did the same. He pulled her up to her feet as he stood. His trusty katana was in his left hand while the other held onto the girl's shoulder. She buried her face in the kimono of my father.

"Daddy, what's going on?!" the screeching arose again, louder than ever, followed by stomps that shook the world. The puddles rippled beneath my feet. My father held the girl closer.

"I'm scared!" she cried.

"Don't be. I'll protect you!" ah, there was that infamous promise. His face contorted to rage, something I've never seen before in my youth. He pulled the girl behind him to unsheathe the blade.

"Go inside!"

"B-b-but-!" he wanted to yell at the girl as she protested but in that heartbeat her breathing, her sentence was cut off, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell under the weight of reitasu. The girl dropped hard and father called her name. Behind me, a foot slammed down like thunder. A shadow covered us all, the land, the house, my vision. I looked back and craned my head back up and up to the tall beast. What the hell is that?!

"Menos…!" My father in shock stared at it but he gritted his teeth, ran towards the thing, and screamed in defiance. In a limited body, much like a human, he cut the thing across the hole in its chest but it took its sweet time to die. The monster gave one last howl before accumulating energy into its mouth, now the world glowed red filled by a buzzing sound. My father looked flabbergasted at the effort the thing was still able to do in its dying moment. However, he summoned all of his energy just as the blast took off; he was cloaked in a black light. With the blade raised high above his head the red blast running closer to him, he cut it in half, both slices going in either way of the house. The thing, I realized as being a Hollow, fell and disintegrated upon impact into black shards. Up there, mid-sky, was my father, a hero having defeated an enormous hollow in a matter of seconds. His sword fell, though, and he followed. Dirt accumulated up in the air and I called out for him. But the dust settled, he came into view, talking to himself with a grin and I sighed contently. But this is when he's supposed to die right…? Right? Right. My child self with the katana in hand appeared like a ghost behind my father, a grin and red eyes, undetected, unnoticed, she stabbed my father, he choked on his blood and I could only scream.

"That was pretty much it; I thought I was still dreaming because my vision was pretty disoriented. That's why I was freaking out back there." I smiled apologetically with my chin resting on the knees I hugged. Ichigo and Orihime fidgeted for a bit; playing with hair and hems of clothes. They looked around at everything but me, making their discomfort obvious. But Ichigo, with some seconds, gazed into my eyes searching something in mine. He found words.

"What happen when you woke up back then…those seven years ago?" I sighed.

"I woke up to my mom's screams. She found us outside covered in blood only it wasn't mine, it was my father's, of course. I sat up and asked her what she screaming about. She didn't answer and I looked back and I saw him." I lowered my face to hide my mouth. I kinda wanted to cry.

"You better not be blaming yourself again." I raised my head at the demanding voice of Ichigo.

"W-what makes you say that?"

"That face you're doing. And what that dream showed you. I know you well enough already; that you'll just conclude that's what really happened." My mouth was falling open; I was a little surprised that Ichigo knew me so well.

"N-no, I'm not thinking that way."

"You stuttered just now; you're lying."

"Huh? I'm not lying." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't blame yourself; remember you promised me." oh yeah, I remember. How could I forget? I promised that I wouldn't kill myself with guilt because of my father's death. A promise is a promise but a promise for Ichigo is a happily binding contract. I have to keep this one.

"Yeah, I remember."

"Good, so for now let's kill time." Orihime piped up. We played games instead of watching TV; there wasn't much on Orihime's tiny TV. We played UNO for an hour and a half and then we arm wrestled. My arm aches; Orihime has a good right arm and don't even get me started on Ichigo. We ate curry but there was an odd aftertaste…like bananas. Ichigo hesitated at first but he just couldn't turn down her cooking…actually I pressured him to eat. If I was going down, he'd go down with me. But I guess it wasn't that bad. It was almost six when we finished eating and Ichigo offered to walk me home or rather followed me home.

"Why are you following?" I didn't mind but he was behind me and oh so quiet.

"I'm walking you home." we began talking, surprisingly, about literature; writers and poets like Shakespeare, Lovecraft, Dahl and Frost. He said his favorite is Shakespeare; he found out about him after watching Lion King, hehe. We stopped in front of my house's gate before I turned he wanted me to wait as he was fumbling through his bag. He pulled out his shinigami deputy badge and held it out for me.

"Take it." I looked at him incredulously.

"H-huh? No, I can't, it's yours!" he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah, but I'm lending it to you. Besides you need it more than I do, you know just in case something happens," He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at me with a smile as I took the badge from his hand with hesitance. "But I'll try to be there for you."

"Thank you," I waved goodbye to him as he waved back and I watched his retreating back go down the darken sidewalk. When I went inside, my cat didn't greet me instead, my mom did… with a tackle.

I was still awake under the yellow desk light, scribbling words, at 2 am. I had to at least finish the homework I had and make a fake absent note. But writing in mom's calligraphy isn't my specialty! Sigh, I'm so tired, giving up seems like a better option. I flipped the next page in my note book and found the timeline I did a few days ago, well a mindless copy of the first. I forgot the rest of my problems and wrote down my theories, the ones I made earlier today. I didn't realized how jumbled up they were; one was written in the far right corner, the other just below it was overlapping the first just like the third and the forth were. Note to self: write neatly. I stared hard at these notes without noticing I needed to blink. Then I ripped the page out and flipped through my book for a clean page I the back. I transitioned the jumbled notes of the ripped page into bullet points and when the page filled I turned to the other side and converted those bullet points into paragraphs. This was my finally organized thoughts; a plan of a plan; my speech. And I'm going to let the others know.

Twenty to three now and I still had one more task to do…or so I thought. Faintly, I could hear a howl and I leaped into action. Snatching Ichigo's badge from the corner of my desk, I darted to the other side of my room where my father's katana leaned in the corner. I pressed the badge hard onto my chest and sent a shock through me with a pull. I saw my body crumple down but I caught it in time to drag it onto my bed. Opening my window, i looked down, thinking to myself that I'm going to jump out and land softly but I stopped myself at the sight of the far away ground way below. The hell was I thinking? Abandoning that idea, I ran out my room and later out into the street, heading towards that menacing howl. I should feel strange about being in this form, I should still be getting used to it, but I'm totally fine. I feel so comfortable in my skin, more than ever. I feel so alive! It's like **this** was always meant to be me. Alive and well; my cockiness sets in and remained as I came face to face with the Hollow. It wasn't super tall or wide but fairly huge; I'm not the least bit scared.

I unsheathed the katana without breaking a sweat, without slowing down, and launch myself into the air high above the Hollow's head and coming down on it. But it dodges and I hit the pavement. I think it looked at me with smugness. Again I rush toward it and swing my sword only to miss. It hopped over me to my blind spot before I had the opportunity to look back; it lashed out its tongue and hit me in the stomach. It was a sharp blow and had managed to make me stumble backwards. In my staggering, it lashed out its tongue again but for my face. However with my new heighten senses and reflexes; I swung my sword to chop off the tongue. Blood gushed out and I palpate at the sight but I held my breath and began chopping away at its tongue, reducing it to small pieces and that had disintegrated. The Hollow screamed in pain and I mumbled to myself, comforting myself really, as I reached its face, that it won't suffer long. It fell in two pieces that never reached the floor but went up to the sky. I looked up to the pieces like ash then slowly averting my gaze to the crescent moon, which seemed to beckon me into its ivory glow.

Never in my life, had I been this drawn to the moon. Never have I been in this state of thralldom, there was something in the way the moon glowed and how that glow fell over so gracefully across the street and me. I took a deep breath in and my lungs filled with the freshest air I've ever breathed and I swear to you I think I could taste the moon's light; if that's even possible. Closing my eyes, I let everything else go and float far from my mind in order to enjoy these breathes I'm taking in this form. For the first time nothing else mattered but my breathing and the moon; stronger and stronger, I felt its pull on me and deeper and deeper became my breathing. I felt safe but dominate as if I was Superman and I could take any bomb thrown at me without worrying about getting hurt. Soon, I could hear my heart beat rhythmically and that rhythm, pulsed its way down my stomach and limbs; reaching my hands and feet that I couldn't contain the rhythm so it built up at these ends and could have burst but I didn't worry. There were no worries or fears or happiness. But it wasn't indifference either and so again I tell you I'm in this state of unknown thralldom. As I open my eyes, nothing has changed in the world but me at this moment. To my utmost surprise, there was something different about me! I'm fudging glowing as we speak! With wide eyes I scan my arms and body which is glowing white as the clothing and hair are softly blowing by some unknown wind. This is insane; what the hell is going on with me; normal kids don't go through this!

"Nicely done, Higari." The voice I recognize to be Rukia says from behind. Looking over my shoulder, Rukia and Ichigo are standing under the shadow of a building and soon after the glowing exuding from my body stops. Flabbergasted, I look back and forth from my arms. Honestly I was beginning to enjoy that weirdness going on. Balling my hands, I look back up at Rukia who is now making her way over to me. I open my mouth but she cuts me off with her hand. "That was you're reitasu manifesting around you just now."

"That's reitasu?" she nodded.

"I've told you it's something some spirits and very few humans are able to have. It also takes time to exhibit. And even longer to make use of it but it seems you've been able to complete two steps or one and a half but you have excelled well beyond my standards." She smiled proudly of me and I couldn't help but smile as well. How long has it been since someone's been proud of me? Looking over at Ichigo with my bright smile, my face fell instantly once I saw his agonizing face.

"Ichigo? What's wrong?" before he was about to speak, Rukia had cut him off.

"He was getting worried." He sucked his teeth.

"It's not just that; you wouldn't let me anywhere near her." Rukia's eyebrow knit closer together and she scowled.

"If you did get closer, Higari may have never been able to manifest her reitasu on her own. Besides nothing was going to go wrong and even if something did you and I weren't too far. So quit complaining and stop babying her!" the harshness of her words hit Ichigo badly it seemed and I repeated the word 'babying' in my head. Is that what she calls it? Is that what Ichigo is doing; babying not protecting? If that was true…then I didn't want it. Stillness passes by for a while before I spoke; "She's right Ichigo. You don't have to be at my side 24/7 you know? I think I can manage and you don't have to keep worrying yourself sick over me." As gentle as I've said it, his face didn't lighten up but rather fell heavier and sadder and I wish I could take it back immediately. I looked down in shame but looked back up when I notice two auras, which I can now identify as reitasu, approaching. I can't detect exactly where it was coming from so I looked in the general direction of Rukia's gaze. The man named Renji and the blonde from today unexpectedly popped out of nowhere! I yelp and take a step back, almost falling down. The two look at me with wide eyes as I blush; their mouths then curve a little upwards. I could feel myself getting darker by the minute so I lowered my head. There's a gruff clearing of the throat and I look up slightly at the sound.

"Sorry; uh, we haven't introduced ourselves yet," my head perks up as I see Renji bow deeply, "Assistant Captain of Squad 6, Abarai Renji. I, uh, am humbly at your service, Higari Hanabi-sama." I'm left without words at the moment; I mean anyone would really. No one has ever bowed insanely low before me or has said 'I'm humbly at your service'; much less call me Higari Hanabi-sama! He just met me and he's treating as if I'm some damn royal. Still at a loss of words, Renji notices and quickly straightens up to cough into his hand; if the street lights hadn't been lit I wouldn't have caught that small red tint on his face.

"I'm also sorry if that was…uncomfortable. But my captain demanded to treat you like a noble. Because, you should know by now, your father was very important to Kuchiki-taicho." I waved my hand a bit too frantic.

"Yeah, uh, I know and it's okay; you don't have to treat me as a noble or anything. I don't want you to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable." He sighs deeply and his shoulders slouch as if this whole act was so heavy. The blonde then friendly pats his shoulder.

"It's okay Abarai-kun," she looks at me and smiles big. "Assistant Captain of Squad 10, Matsumoto Rangiku." She bows her head swiftly. I stare at these people; amazingly strange there's a kin I feel with them and- shit! Where are my manners? Did I lose them? In a hurry, I bow deeply at the two and say 'sorry' over and over to the point where I've lost count.

"Hey, hey, you don't have to say sorry." Rangiku reassures me. I look at her, my face once again red. I can imagine my face now; picture a confused puppy. Slowly I stand up straight, frowning deeply and cursing at myself for being an idiot. What kind of shinigami am-? Wait…I've noticed that there was someone missing. I peek behind the two assistant captains to see nothing but the street behind them. I look up to the roof tops hoping to catch a hint of white but no; there was nothing.

"Are you trying to look for the captain?" Rangiku snapped me out of my look out.

"Uh, yeah; I was just wondering where he is. So…is he around?" why am I so curious? He would be the last person that I'd want to be around with…okay I'm lying. I really want to see his face. I mean who wouldn't? he looks so fine! But I bet I looked really nasty back there. Chances are he wouldn't want to date me…wtf am I saying? Date?!

"Yeah, he's around but the way you acted this morning he thought it'd be best to back off a bit. He lowered his reitasu to the point where it can barely be felt. So don't worry." Wow I'm so bummed. Wow! I hope no one notices my face.

"But if you think you'll be able to handle his reitasu then maybe he can show up" she smirked at me as if she knew something and I doubt that she missed the disappointment in my face. The heat came up to my face so in order to cover it I say; " Oh, okay, because I have something to tell everyone." They all look at me.

"I-it's a couple of theories of mine and I think it's important…that all of you should know." Rangiku then pulls a small device, too small for me to see its shape, and she turns around and places it next to her ear. She speaks into it quickly and as quickly turns back around towards us.

"He's coming." Slowly, I feel his icy presence grow closer to us. But it's not overwhelming, instead it's alluring and welcoming. Also, something within that iciness I feel a strange sort of warmth. Isn't this like hypothermia? I dunno, I have to search it up sometime. And then I see him atop the roof underneath the moonlight. He looked oh so beautiful. And I think I've been staring long enough so I quickly look away before anyone notices. With shinigami agility, he jumps down towards us.

"So Higari here has a few words for us taicho." Rangiku informed as I began to panic. Hitsugaya looked at me and I only grew worse; I flushed and most likely melted inside despite the cool stare he gave off. he tapped his foot a little when I still hadn't said anything and he picked up the pace when I began to blabber. He sighed heavily, turned away, and said, "If you have nothing to say I'd rather you not waste my time. I don't like people like that." Shit, I don't want to be on his bad side.

"Wait!" I blurted, surprising myself. He looked over his shoulder a little and expected nothing to come out as I had looked down yet again. That look bothered me but I think it pushed me to overcome my shyness even if it was just a bit.

"I was working on a speech at home and planning to tell you all tomorrow but I guess now would work. Uh, please bear with me because I can't remember much right now." Clearing my throat, I sighed internally when he turned his full attention to me.

"I think someone is out to get me," they all paled and broke into a cold sweat. "But I don't know who it is, however, I'm absolutely sure of this. To support my statement, I can tell you that although I haven't seen his face he appeared in my dream once."

"But dreams are just dreams." Renji broke in. I shook my head.

"Dreams are symbolic and tricky like puzzles. With that said, mine, however, are acting more like premonitions."

"But your subconscious wouldn't know of anything you don't already know." Rangiku argued.

"True but I say through my subconscious my father's old zanpakuto, Kuroitsuki, is trying to warn me." they looked at each other.

"I mean zanpakutos are a part of a shinigami's soul so it'd make sense that Kuroitsuki has access to my mind." Rukia cleared her throat.

"You're right about that but Kuroitsuki was your father's and as your father's, she would have died too. Your own zanpakuto would be the one trying to contact you and as far as we know, it has yet to manifest." Putting up a finger with a grin, I corrected her.

"As far as any of **you** know. I believe she is trying to contact me. After visiting Urahara, I dreamed of this field and of this beautiful woman…she called out to me but I couldn't hear her. She might not be Kuroitsuki but she's the closest thing to her. And Kuroitsuki isn't really gone; she's still here as dormant sword."

"So you think two zanpakutos are within you?" Renji asked.

"I don't see why not."

"But that defies everything we know," Hitsugaya said softly.

"But nowadays many things are defying everything you know. I'm no different." Letting a moment pass, I recollected my thoughts.

"So two zanpakutos are warning me about a man."

"That still doesn't prove anything." Hitsugaya remained skeptical and I'm sure the others too. I stared at him, my mind flashing back to when he appeared in my dream like a knight in shining armor coming to my emotional rescue.

"I saw you in my dream last night." He looked bewildered.

"Why did you think I ran? I'm sure I looked as if I'd seen a ghost even though they don't scare me. I was so shocked to see you were real. So shocked in fact that it caused me pain. The same pain as when I saw you Ichigo. This pain…" I touched the flesh beneath my collar bone. "maybe a foreshadowing because I felt it when I dreamed of that gained my trust and when he took my hand he stabbed me. But, still, I don't know why I felt that way when I saw the two of you." Now this is where I'm lying; yes I do think it's foreshadowing some sort of peril but it's against Ichigo. Ichigo has this side of him I haven't seen in reality and everyone has failed to mention it so, as much as I hate it, my guts tells me to stay on my toes because I don't know what this part of him can do. And I'll be damned if something does happen because I didn't listen to my gut. Shit, I forgot Orihime told him everything. I hope she left that part out.

"Hey," Renji was snapping his fingers near my face. "Is there more you need to say?" I pondered a bit.

"Hmm, yeah, there is. My father is the connection to everything going on now . he knew something and he took that secret to the grave." My heart sank deeply. But a voice came up within the depths of sorrow; 'Be careful.'

"Wait, no, he didn't. he told Urahara." Ichigo and Rukia right away knew what I meant. I evaluated for the others.

"Although he didn't say much, he warned me implying that my father trusted him with his last words."

"That's true; he always knows more than he lets on." Rukia agreed.

"So let's go see him right now." I was ready to leave but just then a Hollow decides to pop out of nowhere like always and at the wrong time. As it crushed everything beneath it, it sent us flying…well just me. Everyone else landed on their feet when I landed on my stomach. As I picked myself up slowly, Hitsugaya stepped in front of me and kneeled down with an extended hand. My mind quickly flashed back to last night's dream just as the blood filled my face. I reached for his hand and I swear, I swear to everything, this moment was so taken out of a shojo manga. Inches away and I would touch his skin but my hand only slapped down to the black road; slightly scraping my arm and hand. Looking up with a mixture of emotions present in my face, he stood boldly with frowned brows and glowing eyes.

"First lesson: don't give your trust in so easy to just anyone. For all that you know I could have been a psychopath…and you should listen more to those dreams you've been having." I painfully recalled that man. As I rose up by myself, because this fool did nothing to help, the Hollow screeched. Hitsugaya looked at it but addressed to me. "Kill it. With one blow."

"What? One?" he's asking for the impossible. "I can't; they're like animals, untamed."

"Of course but as shinigami we must reap Hollows with one shot in order to cease their pain and spare their identity. This Hollow is very weak even you should be able to handle it." He backed up a little and crossed his arms.

"Go now," he glanced at the others. "none of you are to help her." Ichigo seemed the most troubled with that as his grit his teeth. Unsheathing my sword, I breathed out heavily and charged forward as the Hollow did the same only I managed to jump above it. I planned to head straight down and just stab it but it quickly noticed me and evaded my attack. It hit me hard in my side.

"Come on. Get up and finish him!" Hitsugaya called out like a coach. Looking over at him fueled something in me; I wanted to impress him. I made such a fool of myself earlier today and he made a fool of me just now but I'll show him that I am no fool. I went again at the Hollow twice only to be evaded and only to have him telling me to just kill it already. If only it were that easy. Once again I went at it but just then there was a flash of blue light that engulfed my vision but I swallowed the Hollow. The flash of energy disintegrated along with the Hollow. I looked over to the group of shinigamis with Rukia having an arm extended and smoke emitting from the palm of her hand.

"Wha-?" why did she just do that? I thought I wasn't supposed to get any help.

"You were taking too long and it was getting hard to watch you struggle." Hitsugaya stepped up. God, he looked so good but his attitude just irks me.

"Well, I'm sorry but I'm not perfect. It's not like I trained to fight Hollows and kill them with one fatal swoop." I stomped over to him but it didn't faze him at all.

"That's what you lack; proper training along with many other things." He sighed with a roll of his eyes. "It kinda bothers me that you're even a shinigami without the basics." I grinded my teeth.

"Hey-!"

"But I have a mission and I have to do all I can; I will train you." He looked me dead in the eye, ignoring the heated stare I gave him which seemed to cool in his eyes and affect my mood as well. "In fact, we all will." His eyes wandered off a bit as if he was thinking. He looks back at me.

"There's another Hollow nearby; let's go." He turned away to leave and motioned for me to follow which I reluctantly did. The others didn't I noticed; I looked back and they were waving farewell. Ichigo was wearing a smiley façade.

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><p><strong>AN: Omg I'm done and I've finally updated this story _ Time to update the others :P and get started with new chapters and stories. Oh and special thank you to Lunagorn and Music of Madness for the reviews. Please keep them coming! T^T thank you for reading, hope you've all enjoyed. **


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